Chapter 811 Love and desire

This chapter is dedicated to @Lola_13! Thank you so much for the supergift!

She did not know how she managed to say that right to his face, but it was the last thing she was bothered about right now. Because even with the undeniable desire and lust and need in his eyes, this man could still hold himself back, to deny himself of what he fiercely wanted. Just how strong was his damned self-control? She wanted to smash it. Break it to pieces and crush it into dust.

She knew better than anyone else. That Ezekiel Reign was the epitome of self-control. It would not be far-fetched to even say that he coined that term. The whole world may crash and burn but he still managed to stay calm and collected. But it was a little hard for her to believe that even if he was obviously burning himself from the fire that was consuming him, he still had managed to… this man, she now knew the extent of what he truly was. He was more than what she had ever seen or known.

"If you don't want to do it together… then let's stop here." Alicia added, she did not even try to conceal the hurt in her voice. Yes, she could not help but feel hurt because she had realized that his desire for her seemed to not be enough. His self-control was stronger, and he could still hold back. And she hated it.

No, she did not hate him for it. Ezekiel had been like this for hundreds of years. He had no need to reveal it all, she understood what he had gone through for so many years to get this far. He had a goal and him giving in now, just a few days before the D-day might ruin everything that he had been planning his entire life for. She understood that and that was why she could not blame him for anything. She could only blame herself for maddeningly wanting, desiring someone like him. Someone who could deny even himself just so he could achieve his goal.

Retracting her hands, Alicia forced an understanding smile at him before scooting back from him.

But he caught her ankles as she was almost out of reach from him and in one swift move, he pulled her back to where she was a moment ago, under him. He was growling as he cursed and spoke in a voice so deliciously heart breaking, "Don't… do this to me."

And he bent down and kissed her mouth with another level of savagery. As if he was trying to convey to her how much he wanted her. A groan was still rumbling in his chest as he devoured her mouth with an increased level of ferocity.

The control and gentleness had long since evaporated and he pressed his thick and rock-hard arousal against the depression between her legs where it was supposed to go.

The friction made Alicia writhe restlessly beneath him. He rocked his hips in one smooth motion, slamming himself against her, while his mouth had crashed into hers without any reservation. The force and roughness of it all… she could not believe how glorious everything felt.

And she could not stop herself from meeting his movements with so much greed. Not even realizing how her fingers were already digging into his shoulders and the back of his neck.

Every thrust and slide of his erection against her only pushed her closer to that edge. Her breaths became shallower as she desperately tried to match his ferocity, despite knowing that it was not possible, because Ezekiel had gone feral, and her physical strength was no match for his.

But that did not stop her from getting closer to becoming undone. By him. The fact that he was still wearing his damned trousers did not even seem to matter at all at that moment.

Her name fell from his lips like a growl before he buried the rest of the sound into her mouth. All the while keeping up his pace, thrusting faster against her that their bodies were slamming against each other.

She erupted beneath him, and his guttural moan echoed loudly in her ears, followed by a broken cry of her name as he joined her over the mind-shattering orgasm.

His head fell into the crook of her neck as she came down from the high. Her sated eyes losing focus and getting pulled into the darkness. And she could no longer fight the weakness that came after that incredible experience.

He rolled to the bed but without letting her go. He hugged her so tight, burying his face into her hair as he trembled. No longer from the orgasm but an intense emotion that seemed to rock his entire world.

Knowing that she had already passed out, Ezekiel opened his mouth and spoke without lifting his face. "After I imprisoned my father…" he uttered in a weak voice, "I asked him why he did all those things… Do you know what he told me?"

There was a short deafening silence. "He said it's because of love." His voice cracked as that line left his mouth. "He said because he loved and desired that witch so much, he was willing to do anything for her. That he'd willingly give up anything and destroy everything for her." he whispered out.

His grip on her tightened. His trembling worsened. "He told me that love and desire were something no one could never ever control. He told me with confidence that someday… I too, would come to understand it. He then looked at me like he knew there would be one day when I would… be like him in the end."

A short while of quiet passed after that. When his trembling was under control, he continued. "Since then, I despised these emotions called love and desire. I was young back then when I decided that they were the real root of all evil and pain. I planted that belief to my very core and swore to never be swayed by any of those emotions."