Chapter 17: I found you

It could all be an act. A diligently prepared and planned-out performance, aimed at achieving certain reactions out of me. But wasn't that thinking way too… earthy? I could never deny living through the hellish and strangely liberating feeling that this girl served me. And for some reason, her tears sinking in my shoulder while she continued to hug me tightly, didn't seem to be fake either.

Yet, as good of an impression I wanted to force myself to think I had over this girl, I couldn't help but notice that in her overwhelming sadness, pity, worry or whatever else made her react like that… There was a strange hue of excitement.

"What I did, was shoving you just a small part of what would happen if you let this… dark side of your soul, take over. Remember…"

Suddenly pulling away, this insane girl locked my head in place with her palms before gazing deeply down my eyes.

"... it was just a tiny image of what would really happen."

Her hands were shaking. Her voice slightly breaking. Yet, no more tears flowed down her cheeks. Holding on to her stare with my own pupils, I was free to gaze into the depths of her soul just as well.

And now I was certain. What made her body so jiggly, was a strange excitement!

"Oh, you must've noticed it. Now that I have shown you the greater extent of what you might be capable of, let me tell you about its drawbacks."

This time, this girl pulled out completely, sitting on her knees right in front of me.

"First off, it's nice to meet you. I'm Ayda. And what I need to tell you… using your own emotions in order to invoke certain effects… has a cost. The more you use each, specific emotion, the harder it will be to feel it ever again. At first, the aftereffects won't be that huge, but as the time passes, you will need to learn to limit the usage of this power, unless… No, nevermind."

Suddenly stopping herself from finishing a sentence, Ayda bit her bottom lip while looking tensely at my face.

"Losing the ability to feel emotions… Is that why you are always looking for a thrill? To feel something?"

This realisation struck me out of nowhere and forced my mouth to voice it before I could even stop myself. But it made quite a lot of sense. Humans always craved for what they couldn't have. If someone was born greatly emotional and end up losing all his known emotions, he would be sure to look for a way of recovering even a shadow of them!

"That's… Well, nice job with realising that on your own."

For the first tie, I saw something that could be described as a natural expression on Ayda's face. With an uneasy smile appearing on her delicate face, it looked like my question managed to knock down the mask that she was hiding behind.

And for some strange reason, that made me feel insanely at ease. As deviously and bastardly as it sounded, knowing a weak point of this girl that appeared before me in such a sudden manner…

No, it didn't make me feel safer. Given her strength and unique abilities, I would have no chance against her no matter if I knew about this part or not. What this flaw did, was turn this girl back to a human in my eyes. She was just a girl like any other in any universe, with her own set of circumstances, targets and methods.

"Okay, now. How do we start?"

Shaking my head to clear it from useless thoughts, I looked up at Ayda's face and asked. Stunned by such a sudden turn of the events, the girl had to take a moment before she would be able to speak. With the air stuck in her throat, she could only watch as I continued to attempt solving this puzzle on my own.

"You invoked that strong emotion in me to show how a materialised wish behind it would become the intent of a spell…?"

Murmuring under my nose, I thought about this idea for a moment. Back then, it felt as if something broke in me. But thanks to it breaking, my limits also expanded away from the mortal shell of my body towards the vast expanse of the universe around me.

This feeling… It was insane.

As if yet another sense was developed by my mind, I could somehow feel the simplest, emotional states of the stuff around me. Absolute obedience to the rules in some ant's head, strangely calming tune sang by the trees… Excitement and hope in Ayda's aura…

With a sudden idea popping in my mind, I looked to the side. Noticing a small cup with water placed on the table in the other corner of the room, I started to fire myself up for the idea I had in my mind.

And just like that, by connecting my wish, the emotional state of desire, to bringing something from afar, I made the cup nearly instantaneously appear in my hand, without even a single drop of water spilling away.

Saying that I was as shocked as was Ayda when she saw what I just did would be quite an accurate description of the situation. Yet, instead of her face turning ugly or even scared, I saw her eyes exploding with a fire of… thrill?!

"What's going on?"

Finally daring to open my mouth and hurry Ayda's response up, I couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed when she simply continued to stare at me with those wide-open, red eyes of her.

"I was right… I finally found you…"

In any other situation, having an insanely adorable girl stare at me with passion-filled eyes would be a hell of an exciting experience. But for some reason, I couldn't help but think that being who Ayda was looking for might not end up that well for me.