Chapter Thirty-Seven

She defiantly wasn't acting amused. I caved, I reach out grabbing a strand of her hair. It wasn't as long as it uses to be. I lean forward smelling it, that sweet smell of her floral shampoo and sweat lingers. I glance up feeling her eyes on me. I press my lips against it. Her eyes lighten. She has always loved me doing this and personally so have I. Everything about her reactions set me on fire and had me on edge. I'd react in a way I foreign to me till I first laid eyes on her in that hotel room. Fuck, if Michovali was good for anything. His one major screw up ended up being probably the best fucking thing in my life even with the ups and downs. Makes me almost sad I killed the bastard. Not really though he's lucky I granted him a quick death. That fucker David won't have it so easy once we are done with him.

I sigh a little. "Alright, you can't blame me." I say dropping her hair. "Your still so oblivious when it comes to the men around you. Personally, I would like to rip out anyone's eyes who's ever looked at you in a way that's suggestive."

A smirk appears across her face almost teasingly. "Well then according to you that would be just about everyone I walk by. Seems a little over the top."

I shrug. "You use to like to over the top, possessive, selfish bastard I am." Her smirk fades.

"Do you think we can go back so easily after everything Ren?" She stands walking around picking up pieces of her clothes off the floor. I watch her every movement silently. She sighs. "I hurt, you hurt me. Still I don't know how not to love you." My chest tightens to her confession. "I don't know how to trust you completely though." I see a single tear begin to trickle down her cheek. She quickly wipes it away. "So, how do we go back." Her body was shaking I stood walking slowly to her. I wrap her in my embrace because I didn't know what else to do but to try and hold her together.

"We don't go back." I whisper holder her head against my chest. There was to much pain in the past. "We start a new, a new you and me, a new future." My heart was turning in knots. "Come put those on and we can go back to your room. We can talk I can even give you a back massage if you like. I feel her head shift off my chest looking up at me, I meet her eyes a lite in them and a playful smile on them. It hits me, I had never done that before not once being with her. Make a mental note to do it more often.

****

Honestly, I hadn't meant to get all serious and make him feel bad, but all my fears and pain started looking out when he pointed out that I might not like his old self. Maybe I didn't exactly. I love Ren he made me feel excited, and my stomach was in butterflies every time he looked at me. When he kisses me no matter what's happened or, how much time as passed. my heart screams that I can't live without this aching and exciting feeling where it can't decide if it will race or feel at peace by his side. Still he's not the Ren from before he shows my patience then he ever has and understanding, it almost frightens me more because I feel like I'm falling harder then the first time we met. I want to just lay all my worries on the table, and see if he will pick them up and shoulder them.

The rest of last night was like a dream. Well it mostly was because from the moment we hit my room, he ordered me to strip and lay on the bed. When I wouldn't take the order he did, what he does best. The teasing began and layers of clothes came off of for Christ sake I was hot and bothered again. However, he picked me up carried me to the bed and rolled me onto my stomach. My heart races. I close my eyes thinking back to the panic I felt as he went and Riffled through my bag. I knew he liked things rough and we hadn't tried it yet but was he planning to go there. I try to imagine my first time letting him to that scared how much it would hurt. The bed shifts I hear him start chuckling lowly, almost seductively. His voice still ringing in my head "Relax love." His body was over mine a second later his sweats still on. I look over my shoulder a wicked smile on his face saying it all. He knew what I was thinking. His hands firmly rubbed over my back, I remember how good it felt, but at first the lotion on his hands was so cold, I gasped in surprise whining he could have warned me. He found it amusing and decided to dump more lotion on until I had just become use to it that I couldn't tell anymore.

Still after he started really rubbing, I almost passed out instantly. I woke in late morning Ren had been awake going over paperwork with Mike quietly and there was a try of orange juice, French toast and eggs and bacon sitting on the night stand next to me. Ren looks over a sexy smile suddenly on his face, I smile back pulling the covers higher, Mike leaves the room.

"Morning beautiful." He says, walking over, he bends down his lips brush mine. I want to melt.

"Morning." I feel little bashful then normal.

"Hungry?" He grabs the tray and places it on the bed. I look at him skeptically.

"I could eat." I shrug.

"Well if you're not hungry can always continue from last night with you on your stomach seeing as your eyes where practically begging me to." The spark was there with a hint of amusements.

"Maybe I just hungry for freshly cooked sausage." I smile back in amusement as his face smirk falters into a little cringe.

"You're never going to let me forget what your capable of now are you?" I laugh at his question.

"Nope." I linger a little on the O as I say it.

He smiles, "Eat up my love we are going to go see you father this morning, and before you panic. He's fine, but I'm sure seeing you will make him feel better."