Chapter 138: Pygmies Extermination

Translator: “Pink Tea” Editor: ”Weasalopes”

Even though they are quite small, there is no way that all of them could be satisfied with just one banana.

Trying not to get noticed Emma and I exchanged looks, both of us hoping for a fight to break among the pygmies.

「Hey, giants! Give us more!」

「Sadly enough, that was the only banana I had.」

If I just give them what they want, they will stop arguing.

But looks like my thinking was naive, as the pygmies immediately became a lot more hostile.

「Then we will simply kill you! Everyone, we are attacking those two.」

Yeeeah, no way things would go so smooth…

「Aaah?! I might not have bananas, but there are some cookies. Here.」

I put a tasty looking cookie on the floor, but for some reason the reaction is bleak.

Or rather, it feels like I might have infuriated them even further.

「You…… This isn’t a food, right?」

What?

The question surprised me, is that because unlike bananas it’s hard?

If they never heard of it, they can’t be blamed for such a reaction.

「This, is a sweet made from wheat. Because it was baked it’s……」

Huh, to think of it, such explanations have no meaning at all.

「Okay. Then, I will eat this one, and for you, I will bring out different food.」

「Wait a moment! We didn’t say that we won’t eat it!」

Then hurry up and eat it……

Despite what they said, they seem to be interested in it. Once again, a poison taster tried the food and leaked out a shriek.

Yeah, we get it, this is your reaction to tasty stuff.

「It’s tough, but it melts in your mouth, turning soft and TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTY!」

I really appreciate the effort this food taster puts into his impressions.

Other pygmies seem to have liked it as well, now pestering for more.

I guess it would’ve been a tough situation if I didn’t bring food.

Anyway, I had a few cookies, so I bring them out.

They eat a lot for their size, so a hefty number of cookies disappeared.

Now, the pygmies could no longer be satisfied with food alone as they,

「Giants, do something funny!」

「Funny you say……」

「Yeah, let’s see, how about imitating a pig?」

Began boldly making such demands.

Isn’t it fine for showing at least a bit of gratitude to me for feeding you?

「Woman, you aren’t doing anything at all.」

「I? But……」

「DO IT!」

What a thing to ask a young maiden to do.

Emma, resolving herself to get through this pinch, held up her nose and, trying to sound as close to a real one as she could, oinked.

「Oink, oink, oink, oink, oink, oink.」

「……」

They are not amused at all!

Having someone poke at your faults is unpleasant, but getting no reaction at all is even more painful.

And since they didn’t say a thing, Emma ended up oinking for a whole minute.

Finally growing tired of this, the pygmies began yelling to stop with this.

「It wasn’t funny at all. There is no point in you even living.」

「Even though it was you who told me to do this……」

Being half-intelligent made them just that much ill-natured.

「We don’t care about imitations, just make us laugh.」

It’s vexing, but I guess we have to obey.

I guess I’ll attack them the next time they ask for food.

I can’t embarrass Emma any further. I’ll do this.

Trying to make a weird face, I say in a silly tone.

「I’m the pig-faced monster, Orc. I’m very fond of meat, but won’t touch pork. Because that would be cannibalism.」

「…………」

I went with such a joke because I thought they like pigs, but not a single laugh came.

I truly realized how non-existent my sense of humor was.

Making such a fool of myself and not being able to get even one laugh is really depressing.

Comedians are amazing…… Being able to endure that atmosphere when a joke doesn’t get through.

And making someone laugh turns out to be really difficult.

I mean, the pygmies aside, but even Emma didn’t chuckle.

If only I had a better sense of humor……

「Hey, woman, why are your clothes showing your legs? Are you an exhibitionist?」

「It’s easier to move this way!」

It’s hard to guess what pygmies, that don’t even know the concept of a skirt, would find funny.

It seems that Emma was of the same opinion as she let out a pretty deep sigh.

「Hey, we run out of cookies. Give us more!」

Here it comes! They seem to have gotten pretty careless already, so here our counterattack begins. First, I bring out bread. Tearing it up I put a bit on the floor.

「This is bread, our staple food. It’s not that tasty, but it’s not bad as well.」

Moreover, it was from a store famous for its delicious bread. The pygmies still remained cautious and once again the poison taster stepped forward.

The one who ordered that was the same arrogant pygmy as before. Perhaps noticing that as well, but Emma whispered into my ear.

「Is that a leader?」

「I want you to take him down on my signal.」

「So you have a plan. I trust you.」

The poison taster finished eating a portion and voiced his impression.

「It’s not tasty…… But it has a strange texture, which I do like.」

「Okay, give us the remainder as well! We also will eat.」

「Yes, yes, here you goーー」

Poisonous 50 LP.

Grant 150 LP

ーーLet’s add this as a small bonus.

I observe the pygmies that rushed to the bread as soon as I put it on the ground. Surprisingly, the leader didn’t jump onto it.

It missed the mark a bit, but since others were dropping down in droves let’s count it as a success.

「Hyauuu……」

「My stomaaaaach」

「Hey, you, what did you put in there?!」

「Emma, now.」

「Aye!」

She launched 【Wind Strike】 aiming at the floor.

The target is the leader-like goblin. In the end that is just a pygmy, so their defensive power is quite low.

Without being able to even make even a scream he was splattered.

「Boss?!」

「Boss got killed?!」

So that was a boss after all. It probably to avoid him being targeted that no one called him as such until now.

On top of losing the leader, many of them were poisoned.

Some of them tried to escape while shrieking, some tried to confront us.

「Time for us to rampage as well.」

「Making fun of us as they please! I won’t forgive them!」

After that, Emma and I showed the best of our battle prowess, but since most of them were suffering from food poisoning anyway, we didn’t get much resistance.

Each of them was weak and they had no leadership, so the battle ended in several minutes.

「Noir, what did you do to that bread?」

「I added poison to the one that I gave them the last.」

「As expected!」

A sound of high five resounded through the room.