Chapter 982: Rowena Wants To Kill Her Father

She steeled her heart as she made her way to the ice cave. Rowena took out her commoner's outfit from the closet and put it on. She would leave this wretched place and bring Julian with her. And then, she would give him a proper burial.

When Raphael returned and didn't find her in Ashland, he might punish Rowena's father. King Draco would not get whatever it was that he wanted. All his plans would fail.

As for Rowena...

She would wait for Raphael to find her. She had a feeling that he would be able to do that just like he saved her when she fell from the tower. Hee always arrived in time to save her.

He was truly her knight in shining armor. Rowena laughed at those dumb stories where the damsel in distress always needed saving. She always thought women should be able to save themselves. Julian taught her a lot, including how to survive on the road, being a woman.

He taught her to use her brain and to be cunning. So far, she had managed to care for and protect herself. However, after all that she had gone through, now she felt like she was back to zero.

She was always that small and scared little girl when it came to her evil father. She hated being that damsel in distress, but she bitterly admitted that she did need saving from this situation.

It was because she didn't only care about herself, but also Julian, her best friend, her soul mate. If it was just her... she wouldn't mind dying.

But Julian...

"Don't cry," the man's soft voice moved Rowena from her reverie. She turned to the side and saw Julian standing by the window. His handsome face looked sad. He continued, "I'd prefer you to be angry than sad. Why can't you unleash your anger instead? Why are you engulfed in sadness? Are you not mad at your father?"

Rowena knew the Julian that she kept seeing was not real because she was smart and she knew he had died. But she couldn't stop seeing his images everywhere and hearing his voice. Was she too overcome by sadness that deep inside she still didn't want to accept his passing?

Her father told her that she should pretend not to see Julian. He even made the royal doctors force-fed medicine to her in an attempt to 'fix' her. He said no man would want a crazy woman for a wife.

He was more worried that Raphael would reject Rowena because she was seeing things, than the fact that his daughter was so broken that she was suffering mentally.

"I am mad at my father..." Rowena muttered. "I wish I could...."

What was it that she wished she could do? Kill him?

Rowena couldn't answer that question. 

Julian stepped closer and touched her shoulder, "You wish you could kill him, don't you?"

Rowena didn't answer. 

"I will get you out of there," she said flatly. "Then, we will leave this place."

That was why she wore the commoner's outfit and went silently to the stable. She stole a simple wagon with a black horse. With that, she went to the ice cave. She would take Julian away from there and bury him properly. She knew just the place.

***

"Your Highness..." Knight Jarvis raised his hand with a wary expression. "Please..."

He was notified of the princess' plan by the maid who saw Rowena sneak out of the palace and went to the stable under a disguise to get the wagon. He immediately knew where the princess was heading.

He wanted to warn her not to attempt stealing Julian's body from the ice cave because the security was quite tight, but he was too late. The king had found out about it and sent troops to block Rowena's way. Jarvis was told to lead the soldiers.

Here he was now, against his heart, to do the king's orders and capture Rowena, take her back to the palace. His horse caught the small wagon and stopped in front of it, causing Rowena to startle and halted her wagon.

Rowena furrowed her brows. She looked around her and realized a group of fifty soldiers wer

e ready to take her back to the palace. Someone must have seen her leaving her tower and reported it to her father. However, of all people, why should Jarvis be the one to catch her?

"I am not who you think I am, Sir," she tried to plead, "Please let me pass. I need to be somewhere urgently."

However, Jarvis didn't move an inch. He motioned his soldiers and they all came closer. Rowena felt betrayed by Jarvis who always treated her well. He even pretended not to see her when Rowena ran away the first time. Couldn't he look the other way this time too?

"I'm sorry..." The tall knight said apologetically. "Liz and I... we will have a baby. I can't..."

He couldn't risk his life now that he and his wife were having a baby on the way. 

Rowena pursed her lips. She tilted her head to see past the knight. The ice cave was right over there. She was this close to taking Julian away and leaving for good. She was too distraught that she couldn't do things right.

"I'm sorry, Julian," she sighed and lowered her head dejectedly.

"It's not your fault, Rowena," Julian patted her back gently. "I wish you would stop blaming yourself for everything."

*** 

Rowena didn't talk to anyone after that day. She held her lips tightly closed. Nobody was worthy of her voice. Not even Lady Liz or Knight Jarvis whom she thought were her friends.

When King Draco summon her and talked to her, Rowena only looked away. She sent her mind to a faraway place so she didn't have to listen to his voice. Once, King Draco slapped her because he was offended by her lack of response, but he immediately regretted it.

A bride shouldn't look bad on her wedding day, he muttered. After that, he never hit Rowena again. That was enough for her.

And suddenly, the thought came to her one afternoon as she was daydreaming by her window.

"The only way for me to be really free... is to kill my father," she muttered to herself. Recently, the thought came to her more and more. She even dreamed that she swung a knife and stabbed her father.

"However, I am just a weak woman," Rowena bit her lip. "What should I do to make myself stronger?"

When the wind blew some leaves from the tree, she remembered how powerful Raphael seemed to be. He was... a god, wasn't he? He was definitely much stronger than King Draco Roseland. If Rowena could borrow his power...

"He would never help me if he knew who I really am," Rowena concluded. "He must think I am this beautiful and perfect princess like my father made everyone think. If he knew that he was tricked... he would hate me. He would just leave, no matter what he said."

King Draco also threatened Rowena to tell lies to Raphael about her because, in his own words, if he was going down, he would bring Rowena down with him.

Maybe...

Rowena clenched her fists to the sides, "Maybe... I should just really trick him to love me and then... I would use him to kill my father. Once I get my revenge... he could leave me for all I care."

Rowena didn't understand that Raphael truly loved her and he never saw her as a liar and a temptress. Her self-esteem was close to zero and thought she was so broken and unlovable, and her beauty was the only thing that people see in her.

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From Missrealitybites:

I am very sad to see Rowena self-sabotage herself further and further. Writing her story is really hard and I cried often. Anyway... I have been really busy with work and I didn't have the energy to write.

Ines' and Aleric's story has been bugging me for weeks but I couldn't write even one word for it. Rowena and Sophie are waiting too. I feel so guilty toward them, and to you. I will really try to write more between my work hours. I still have the goal to end Harlow's story in June.  &nb

sp; 

Meanwhile, I am very excited about my mentees' books. "Odette & The Cursed King" and "The Alpha's Replacement Bride" are both now available on ReadNovelFull. You can search them by the title or go to my profile and see them on my reading list called "Missrealitybites Books".

I am really obsessed with Liam from "The Alpha's Replacement Bride". He is the strongest and hottest Alpha I have ever read. Rion from "Odette & The Cursed King" is very lovable too. He is a very complex man and his story would make you want to hug him.

I hope you would give those books a chance while waiting for my books to resume regular updates. I promise you, if you like my books, YOU WILL LOVE THEM.