Chapter 94

Chapter 94: Phalanx and Lead Bullet

Entering that gable-ended Spouter-Inn, you found yourself in a wide, low, straggling entry with old-fashioned wainscots, reminding one of the bulwarks of some condemned old craft . On one side hung a very large oil-painting so thoroughly besmoked, and every way defaced, that in the unequal cross-lights by which you viewed it, it was only by diligent study and a series of systematic visits to it, and careful inquiry of the neighbors, that you could any way arrive at an understanding of its purpose . Such unaccountable masses of shades and shadows, that at first you almost thought some ambitious young artist, in the time of the New England hags, had endeavored to delineate chaos bewitched . But by dint of much and earnest contemplation, and oft repeated ponderings, and especially by throwing open the little window towards the back of the entry, you at last come to the conclusion that such an idea, however wild, might not be altogether unwarranted . But what most puzzled and confounded you was a long, limber, portentous, black mass of something hovering in the centre of the picture over three blue, dim, perpendicular lines floating in a nameless yeast . A boggy, soggy, squitchy picture truly, enough to drive a nervous man distracted . Yet was there a sort of indefinite, half-attained, unimaginable sublimity about it that fairly froze you to it, till you involuntarily took an oath with yourself to find out what that marvellous painting meant . Ever and anon a bright, but, alas, deceptive idea would dart you through . —It's the Black Sea in a midnight gale . —It's the unnatural combat of the four primal elements . —It's a blasted heath . —It's a Hyperborean winter scene . —It's the breaking-up of the icebound stream of Time . But at last all these fancies yielded to that one portentous something in the picture's midst . That once found out, and all the rest were plain . But stop; does it not bear a faint resemblance to a gigantic fish? even the great leviathan himself? In fact, the artist's design seemed this: a final theory of my own, partly based upon the aggregated opinions of many aged persons with whom I conversed upon the subject . The picture represents a Cape-Horner in a great hurricane; the half-foundered ship weltering there with its three dismantled masts alone visible; and an exasperated whale, purposing to spring clean over the craft, is in the enormous act of impaling himself upon the three mast-heads . The opposite wall of this entry was hung all over with a heathenish array of monstrous clubs and spears . Some were thickly set with glittering teeth resembling ivory saws; others were tufted with knots of human hair; and one was sickle-shaped, with a vast handle sweeping round like the segment made in the new-mown grass by a long-armed mower . You shuddered as you gazed, and wondered what monstrous cannibal and savage could ever have gone a death-harvesting with such a hacking, horrifying implement . Mixed with these were rusty old whaling lances and harpoons all broken and deformed . Some were storied weapons . With this once long lance, now wildly elbowed, fifty years ago did Nathan Swain kill fifteen whales between a sunrise and a sunset . And that harpoon—so like a corkscrew now—was flung in Javan seas, and run away with by a whale, years afterwards slain off the Cape of Blanco . The original iron entered nigh the tail, and, like a restless needle sojourning in the body of a man, travelled full forty feet, and at last was found imbedded in the hump .

Crossing this dusky entry, and on through yon low-arched way—cut through what in old times must have been a great central chimney with fireplaces all round—you enter the public room . A still duskier place is this, with such low ponderous beams above, and such old wrinkled planks beneath, that you would almost fancy you trod some old craft's cockpits, especially of such a howling night, when this corner-anchored old ark rocked so furiously . On one side stood a long, low, shelf-like table covered with cracked glass cases, filled with dusty rarities gathered from this wide world's remotest nooks . Projecting from the further angle of the room stands a dark-looking den—the bar—a rude attempt at a right whale's head . Be that how it may, there stands the vast arched bone of the whale's jaw, so wide, a coach might almost drive beneath it . Within are shabby shelves, ranged round with old decanters, bottles, flasks; and in those jaws of swift destruction, like another cursed Jonah (by which name indeed they called him), bustles a little withered old man, who, for their money, dearly sells the sailors deliriums and death . Abominable are the tumblers into which he pours his poison . Though true cylinders without—within, the villanous green goggling glasses deceitfully tapered downwards to a cheating bottom . Parallel meridians rudely pecked into the glass, surround these footpads' goblets . Fill to this mark, and your charge is but a penny; to this a penny more; and so on to the full glass—the Cape Horn measure, which you may gulp down for a shilling . Upon entering the place I found a number of young seamen gathered about a table, examining by a dim light divers specimens of skrimshander . I sought the landlord, and telling him I desired to be accommodated with a room, received for answer that his house was full—not a bed unoccupied . “But avast,” he added, tapping his forehead, “you haint no objections to sharing a harpooneer's blanket, have ye? I s'pose you are goin' a-whalin', so you'd better get used to that sort of thing . ”

I told him that I never liked to sleep two in a bed; that if I should ever do so, it would depend upon who the harpooneer might be, and that if he (the landlord) really had no other place for me, and the harpooneer was not decidedly objectionable, why rather than wander further about a strange town on so bitter a night, I would put up with the half of any decent man's blanket . “I thought so . All right; take a seat . Supper?—you want supper? Supper'll be ready directly . ” I sat down on an old wooden settle, carved all over like a bench on the Battery . At one end a ruminating tar was still further adorning it with his jack-knife, stooping over and diligently working away at the space between his legs . He was trying his hand at a ship under full sail, but he didn't make much headway, I thought .

At last some four or five of us were summoned to our meal in an adjoining room . It was cold as Iceland—no fire at all—the landlord said he couldn't afford it . Nothing but two dismal tallow candles, each in a winding sheet . We were fain to button up our monkey jackets, and hold to our lips cups of scalding tea with our half frozen fingers . But the fare was of the most substantial kind—not only meat and potatoes, but dumplings; good heavens! dumplings for supper! One young fellow in a green box coat, addressed himself to these dumplings in a most direful manner . “My boy,” said the landlord, “you'll have the nightmare to a dead sartainty . ” “Landlord,” I whispered, “that aint the harpooneer is it?”