Chapter 48 - Fancy Ways to Court Disaster: A Guide

Translated by Eve

Edited by Kara

13. Fancy Ways to Court Disaster: A Guide

Xie He had boldly spent the entire night out in the cold. He had also gotten 444 to use an enhanced version of a high-level cold virus on him. In this way, he successfully ended up with a high fever that refused to go down.

When he finally awoke, it was already the third day. There was an IV in him, and Deng Jingwen was sleeping by his side. His arm was pillowed under his head. Deng Jingwen had him completely in his embrace.

Xie He shifted. He pulled the IV out of the back of his hand. He then pulled the blanket off of him and hopped out of bed.

His actions startled Deng Jingwen awake. Deng Jingwen was a very light sleeper. He directly reached out to wrap his arms around the boy’s waist, pulling him back into his arms. With his lips by the boy’s ear, he spoke in a low voice, “Don’t act rashly. You’re still unwell.”

Heaven only knew how worried he had been. The boy had been asleep for 3 days! The doctor said that the boy had caught a cold. To begin with, his body was already weak. Furthermore, since he had suffered from such a strong psychological attack, he ended up fainting under such extreme sadness. Looking at the boy with tightly shut eyes, who wouldn’t wake up, it was the first time that Deng Jingwen began to regret his decision to steel his heart against the boy. What was he thinking back then, choosing to unexpectedly leave the boy out in the cold for an entire night and even ruthlessly criticize him afterwards.

He shouldn’t have been so impatient. The boy was so small and weak. He should have been more gentle in his means. He was so used to using force to get what he wanted. He didn’t understand what was the right way to go about pursuing the one he loved.

In the end…it was because it was the first time he had ever yearned to possess something that he had ended up acting with undue haste.

Xie He gritted his teeth, body shaking. He said, “Let go of me.”

Deng Jingwen patiently coaxed him, voice soothing, “Don’t cause trouble. Be good, and lay back down. Do you want to faint again?”

Xie He gnashed his teeth, eyelashes quivering. There was pain and resistance in his eyes. He pushed down the tremor in his voice, “So what? In any case, you won’t care. I’m not your son….”

Deng Jingwen involuntarily let out a laugh. Was this child throwing a fit? He said, “Although you’re not my son, who said I don’t care about you? I’m very worried about you.”

His tone was gentle. He stroked the boy’s head softly, pushing him back onto the bed, “Be good. I’ll go call in the doctor.”

Xie He stared in a daze at the man in front of him. Faced with these gentle words and actions he’d never experienced before, he finally could no longer suppress his tears from falling. He didn’t make a sound. Silently, the tears fell. Nothing could stop them.

Deng Jingwen took a pause, mood complicated. A long time later, he said, “Don’t cry.”

These words were like a spell that thoroughly opened the valves. Xie He could no longer control himself, and he cried even more intensely. He looked at Deng Jingwen with watery eyes. Suddenly, he reached out to tightly hold onto the other’s arm and choked, “Daddy…wuwu…why aren’t you willing to be my dad, ne….?”

“Dad, do you know how much I like you, how much I need you…? Although you spent little time with me, I told myself it was because you were really busy….You never came to my parent-teacher meetings. I told myself it was because you were different from other people. My dad is an amazing big shot so that’s why he wouldn’t come to this insignificant occasion….You never went with me to the amusement park, you never helped me with my homework, you never told me a bedtime story, and you never spent my birthday with me…time and time again, I told myself, it’s because my dad is the most incredible, most extraordinary person ever…so, he isn’t like all the other dads….”

“Although…I really envied my classmates, envied their dads, envied their ordinary lives….”

“But, I still liked you the most…because you’re my dad. You would protect me and love me and stay with me for the rest of my life…I don’t have a mom, I only have a dad….”

“I only have you….”

“But why don’t you want me, ne, why don’t you want me….?”

Xie He cried so hard that he was heaving for air. His vision was completely blurred. Because he was crying so intensely, his chest was heaving up and down.

“Dad…what should I do…?”

Originally, I could still deceive myself. Even if you don’t love me, even if you hurt me, at least you’re still my dad…but now, I can’t continue deceiving myself at all…because you aren’t my dad. You’re someone else’s dad.

I really…really…can’t do this anymore….

Why aren’t you my dad….?

Deng Jingwen stared at this version of the boy. He felt like there was a dull ache, beginning to throb, inside of his chest. This was what the boy really thought…he had never thought about—let alone cared about whether he had been an appropriate father before. Towards this unexpected son, he treated him like he was dispensable. He felt that he was only responsible for ensuring that his basic necessities were met. He never thought that what the boy really needed was a father to spend time with.

No. Even if he had known, he probably wouldn’t have cared&#k2026;however, for the first time, as Deng Jingwen looked at the boy, he felt guilty. He had personally watched this boy grow up from a little, white, chubby dumpling&#k2026;into a beautiful young man. Meanwhile, from beginning to end, he had been apathetic. He hadn’t genuinely fulfilled his responsibility as a father.

Even so, the boy still loved and revered him. He saw him as his father, the most important person in his life, and would always use a worshipping and reliant gaze to look at him.

At this moment, Deng Jingwen suddenly realized why he longed for the boy.

Because, the boy was irreplaceable.

Subconsciously, he had already gotten used to the boy’s existence. No other person deeply relied on him like the boy did. No other person stayed by his side and never left despite all the suffering and defeat they experienced.

The most precious and rarest affection to exist in this world…actually, he had it all along. It was just that he had ignored it this whole time and thus missed it.

How could he bear to not want his boy?

Just the same, Deng Jingwen needed him.

【Ding, the capture target, Deng Jingwen’s Favourability Value +2. The current Favourability Value is 90.】

Deng Jingwen pulled the boy into his chest and softly patted his back until the boy stopped crying and gradually regained his calm. Only then did he lower his head and gently plant a kiss on the boy’s lips before speaking slowly and solemnly, “I will never not want you. I hope that you can stay by my side…as my lover.”

However, this time, the boy had no reaction. He only raised his head, stupefied, and used an unprecedented, estranged gaze to look at him.

From then on, Xie He became very calm. He would not longer shout nor resist. It was like he had turned into a completely different person.

Deng Jingwen continued to personally take care of him. Because he now cared about someone, he was willing to do anything and get through anything…it was the first time that he had experienced this kind of wonderful feeling.

He never felt fed up. He only felt that it was as sweet as syrup, that he was addicted to this sweetness.

Another week passed like this. Under Deng Jingwen’s meticulous care, Xie He finally recovered.

Deng Jingwen held the boy to sleep every night but never laid his hands on him. Finally, he could no longer hold himself back and wanted the boy again. The boy let out quiet, suppressed cries, but his eyes were empty. He was like a corpse letting him arrange him however he liked.

This version of the boy…made Deng Jingwen feel like something ice-cold was circulating within his chest. Suddenly, he lost all interest and did not do anything in the end. Even if he felt gloomy, he still carefully held the boy in his arms and used a soft voice to ask, “Do you still blame me? Do you want me to have Bai Xiaorui move out, so you don’t have to see him?”

Xie He quietly shifted his eyes. A long period of time passed before he replied, “No. I don’t blame you.”

This man was the person he adored and respected as his father all this time. Why was it that he only realized just how cold and merciless he was? Bai Xiaorui was his real son, and he could still treat him like this—saying he wants him and then just takes him. When he says he doesn’t want him, he’ll throw him away just like that…so what does that make him, this b*stard child?

Therefore, there was no reason to blame him. Nothing to be indignant over.

It was him who had been too greedy in the past. Those who are greedy will be punished.

The boy’s answer made a flash of disappointment and restlessness flicker through Deng Jingwen’s eyes. It was like this again. It was like this again.

Clearly, he was very obedient and compliant, but he didn’t feel any happiness at all. Just what was wrong? Deng Jingwen’s eyes darkened even more. A moment later, he sighed deeply and got out of the bed, “I’m going out for awhile.”

Deng Jingwen walked out to the balcony. He finally calmed down after facing the cold wind.

He was never one to show his emotions on his face. Even if he didn’t look it, he himself knew that his mood just now was off…it felt like he was on the edge of losing control at any time like he wouldn’t be able to control himself from using a forceful method to solve the issue. He was afraid that he would hurt the boy again because of his loss of control…so, he could only choose to temporarily stay away.

Deng Jingwen stood outside for two hours. When he confirmed that he would not lose control again, he returned to the room.

When he returned, the boy had already fallen asleep. The boy’s body was curled up, both arms around his knees. He looked quiet and tranquil.

Deng Jingwen’s steps suddenly stopped. He stood by the bed and didn’t go over.

Actually, the boy hadn’t slept well these last few days. It was always hard for him to fall asleep. Even after falling asleep, his eyebrows would be furrowed, and he looked to be suffering. Occasionally, he would be awoken by some nightmare…it had already been such a long time since he’d seen the boy sleep peacefully. He looked so peaceful now that he didn’t dare utter even the tiniest peep.

Was it because he wasn’t by his side, that he wasn’t in pain or sad? Was that why he could fall asleep peacefully?

When Deng Jingwen realized this, his breathing stopped. His fists clenched. This was the first time…he understood what it meant to be powerless. Even if he had everything, he could not control someone’s heart.

He actually wanted to go over and hold the boy. However, if he went over now, he would certainly scare him awake….It was so difficult to get the boy asleep, how could he be willing to wake him up?

Nevertheless, he was reluctant to leave just like this. Therefore, Deng Jingwen didn’t move. He was like a sculpture, standing there, using a profound and complicated gaze to stare at the sleeping boy.

His boy loved and relied on him…but all he gave him was pain.

It was just that…even if it was like this, he didn’t want to let go.

……………………………………………………

Deng Jingwen stood there all night. From that night on, he gradually spent less and less time at home. Every night, he would wait until the boy was asleep before going back. He would carefully lay by the boy’s side and then leave without a sound before the boy awoke.

Although they laid in the same bed every night, it was like there was a chasm that separated them.

Xie He did not make a fuss about wanting to go back to his room. He didn’t target Bai Xiaorui either. He did his best to quietly stay in Deng Jingwen’s room as if he had no discontent towards anything. He rarely even stepped out of the room.

In reality, this wasn’t the case. Xie He was extremely dissatisfied.

【Xie He：I’ve been without sex for more than a month now. :)】

【444 says quietly：Because, you start to cry as soon as he touches you….】And, your cries are especially sorrowful! Everyone who hears it will feel heartbroken, and those who see you will shed tears as well! Even he wanted to cry upon seeing this! /(ㄒoㄒ)/~~

【Xie He：This is the sacrifice an actor must make. Clearly, he really wants it, but he has to say that he doesn’t.】

【444：……】

【Xie He：Moreover, Dad is becoming more and more of a letdown. I say that I don’t want it, and he really doesn’t do anything to me. If this continues on, he’ll lose my love. :)】

【444：……】So, him using force before was considered good? _(:зゝ∠)_

【Xie He：Baby, have you been earnestly watching the surveillance feed lately?】

【444：Yes! \(≧▽≦)/】

【Xie He：Very good. Help me export the footage of Deng Jingwen targeting Zhao Hong and his son.】

【444：Yes~】

Xie He watched the video and raised a brow. He flashed a satisfied smile.

What he was most dissatisfied about was, of course, his missing sex life. Furthermore, Deng Jingwen’s Favourability Value wasn’t rising anymore. Because Deng Jingwen was afraid of upsetting him, he maintained a distance between them. He no longer forced him either. Under these circumstances, the two of them had become estranged. Xie He didn’t like to waste time, let alone was he planning on waiting for Deng Jingwen to be ready to slowly repent for his past deeds. He believed that with a Favourability Value of 90, it was time to introduce some twists and turns, so as to allow Deng Jingwen’s love to quickly intensify….Only, he needed a breakthrough point.

Xie He observed for approximately one month and decided that point would be Zhao Hong. Zhao Hong’s son, Zhao Ling had threatened him when he had fallen into dire straits. At that time, Deng Jingwen had pretended not to care. Afterwards, he had his people break Zhao Ling’s arm. His methods were cruel and ruthless. Zhao Hong only had this one son, and he loved him more than he loved himself. Now, hatred for Deng Jingwen, for both old and new wrongs, welled up in his heart. How could he bear it now that his son was crippled like this? Therefore, he began to fight with Deng Jingwen!

However, Zhao Hong was not a match for Deng Jingwen. He was very quickly and miserably beaten!

Zhao Hong’s company lost everything. He could only take Zhao Ling and a few trusted aides with him as they escaped with some cash in a hurry. Deng Jingwen had never been someone gentle and lenient. He would eliminate his enemies completely. He naturally was not planning on leaving Zhao Hong able to come and take revenge on him one day. Therefore, he had ordered people to pursue them all this time. Only, Zhao Hong hid very well. For some time, no one could uncover his tracks.

At this time, 444’s innate ability manifested itself. Although he was just an ordinary, level 3 system, the lowest level AI, his data level was far superior to that of this world’s. Therefore, he very easily infiltrated the surveillance systems of this world.

Xie He found Zhao Hong before Deng Jingwen did. He then discovered some interesting news.

Zhao Hong had actually been hiding in the city all this time. He hadn’t left. The father and son pair hated Deng Jingwen to the bone. However, they could not touch Deng Jingwen, so they had planned to kidnap Deng Zhuo to earn a final sum of cash before leaving.

Xie He simply wanted to give them the “Most Dedicated to Their Work: Cannon Fodder Edition” award to them.

In order to encourage them, Xie He decided to send himself to their door and personally create an opportunity for them!

…………………………………………

After a long period of time, Xie He finally set foot outside of Deng Jingwen’s room. For the first time in a while, he went downstairs for breakfast.

Deng Jingwen had already left, so there was only Bai Xiaorui at the table. When Bai Xiaorui saw Xie He, he choked in surprise. It was not easy to stop coughing. He stammered, “H-Hi.”

He was no longer as ignorant as when he had first arrived. After these last few days, he had heard quite a lot about Deng Zhuo. When he connected it to the fact that Deng Zhuo was living in Deng Jingwen’s room…Bai Xiaorui felt very unwell. Although Deng Zhuo had lived in the rich and honourable Deng Family, so what…at least Bai Xiaorui got to enjoy his parents’ genuine and doting love. What about Deng Zhuo, ne? No one taught him, and he was left to run his course. After his identity was revealed, he had even become Deng Jingwen’s male pet.

Deng Jingwen could unexpectedly lay his hands on Deng Zhuo, and this kind of person was unexpectedly his biological father. Bai Xiaorui suddenly felt very afraid.

“What do you want to eat? I can go help you get it?” Bai Xiaorui saw that Xie He wasn’t saying anything and asked cautiously. He currently must be feeling very upset, ba? He hadn’t stepped out for more than a month already. If he got angry at Bai Xiaorui again, that was very normal. Bai Xiaorui was already prepared to endure all his anger.

However, Xie He did not get angry. He very calmly said, “A bowl of congee is fine.”

Bai Xiaorui was extremely happy upon hearing this. Xie He was finally willing to speak to him properly! He gladly went and ladled up a bowl of congee for Xie He and also grabbed two buns. He smiled, “It’s easy to get hungry after eating only congee. It’s better to eat a bit more.”

Xie He lowered his eyes and silently stared at the bowl. He slowly began to eat. Only, he stopped halfway through his bowl. He turned to Bai Xiaorui, an internal struggle flashed in his eyes…a long time later, he quietly said, “Can…you tell me…about my biological parents?”

Bai Xiaorui felt quite surprised. Last time when he mentioned this topic, it was met with extreme opposition on Xie He’s part. Who knew what had happened in the time they hadn’t seen each other for Xie He to unexpectedly take the initiative to ask? He hesitated, “You won’t get angry?”

Xie He slowly showed him a pale smile, “No…actually, I really want to know.”

During this past period of time, he was constantly wondering what kind of people his parents had been like…he really wanted to know what they looked like, if they had been soft-spoken, if they had been stern when angry….However, he was certain that his biological father must have been a very good person. He definitely must have not been like Deng Jingwen. Right…there was also Mom. Had his mom been beautiful? Had she been especially pretty when she smiled?

Everything…he wanted to know everything.

Bai Xiaorui recalled his parents. His expression turned reminiscent. He stared at Xie He earnestly, “If you want to know, I’ll tell you.”

Bai Xiaorui had been twelve when he lost his parents. However, one could already remember a lot at twelve. In the hard times that followed, he used to constantly rely on these beautiful memories to keep his faith firm.

He talked for a very long time. When he finished, Bai Xiaorui was the one who cried. He actually hadn’t been able to seriously recall these memories for a very long time. He missed his mom and dad.

He cried and cried. He then discovered a napkin had appeared before him. Bai Xiaorui raised his head to see Xie He give him a shallow smile and say, “Wipe it, ba.”

Xie He’s figure gradually blurred in Bai Xiaorui’s eyes. He…really looked like Mom. Bai Xiaorui instantly felt his heart squeeze. He suddenly felt extremely sad. No matter what he did, he couldn’t stop crying. Why did Xie He have to endure all of this? It was too unfair!

The author has something to say:

I’m about to launch a major trick…Ehehehehehehehe.

Eve: Bai Xiaorui is such a good baby I can’t. And DZ!XH’s break down regarding his daddy issues…hits hard man.

Kara: Why does the author have to keep reminding me that there will never be a good ending ever? (´；Д；｀)