Chapter 508: Irrevocably

Sorry for the lateness guys. Got a migraine atrack today. @.@

Gideon caught his breath when he saw Vera coming from across him, down the aisle. Her movements were so elegant and slow. It was as though she was deliberately walking in such a way that was trying to seduce him into jumping her right there and then. Of course, he knew she was not doing this, but it was just his perception and him wanting her so much that is causing his eyes to see things that way. His heart skipped a few beats as he revelled at the sight of her. The gown she was wearing was purposely chosen that it would be the exact colour of her eyes – a mesmerising azure sky blue and there were those gleaming jewels tastefully chosen and fastened securely into her fiery red hair to complement the beauty of her locks. Her dress was a lacy mermaid dress with thin shoulder straps that widened as it cut deeply down the chest area and dipped right down to her upper abdomen. There, the dress was gathered in little folds and cinched snugly around her waist with an elaborate gold and black buckle. The design of the dress allowed her curvaceous cleavage to be quite exposed as the ritual would need the area of the heart to be exposed. A delicate but yet intricate choker necklace with the similar jewels placed in her hair adorned her pale and lovely neck. A few more strings of the same jewels were attached to the choker and were draped across her dainty collar bones and bare upper chest, fastened to an intricately designed shoulder necklace that drew more attention to the beautiful lines of her neck. And to complete the whole ensemble, a single strand of glimmering head chain made of precious mithril was placed across her forehead, with a single waterdrop jewel made of sapphire was dangling between her brows. 

And looking at her… the whole effect of her look was just so stunning and breathtaking that he could not even find the right words to describe how beautiful she was. This was to be his mate. His other half. The perfect one to complete him. She belongs solely to him!

He knew she still could not see him, but he could see her very clearly and his heart continued drumming away like crazy as he looked at her. There was still a slight disbelief reflected in his eyes. It was still a bit hard to believe that this was happening. But Gideon could no longer fight it and the fact that Vera's going to be cursed if this mating bond is not completed drove him to this decision. He could bear anything… everything… all the pain in the world that would pour out on him. All was possible only if this person was kept safe and free from any suffering. 

Just the thought of her going through a long time of suffering all because of the curse was unbearable for him. He just could not bear even the remotest thought of it. It was as though his very own heart was being cut out of his own chest.

When they started to walk towards each other, Gideon felt all his emotions overflow inside of him, wreaking havoc in his heart. Unspeakable love, happiness, desire, awe, fear, doubt, and also… guilt. 

And he shut his eyes closed before he was near enough for Vera to see. He wanted to see her in his mind, Leah. Hoping to see her image like he usually did for many years every time he closed his eyes so he could speak to her. He had tried to picture her since he made the decision, but he had failed. And even now, it seems as though she was no longer going to appear anymore. 

The last time he had seen her was that night. When he had called out her name while he was with Vera. 

It was at that moment when he had realised that he was in love with Vera. After that realisation struck him, he had watched Leah's image slowly blur out until it completely disappeared from his mind. He had tried to reach out, to hold her, and he had felt so much guilt consuming his body until he had trembled as though being frozen in ice. But the last vision he had was of her just her smiling at him before disappearing like the dew in the heat of the sun. Since then, he could no longer see her in his mind. 

Her image had lived in his mind for so long, for every second, that he had gotten so used to it as though it was another part of him. Or an extension of himself. But it was only that way until Vera came into his life and he had started to forget about her. His heart started to beat for this red headed woman no matter how much he denied it. It was true that Vera's eyes were exactly like hers. But he knew in his heart that he did not just desire her only because of her uncanny resemblance to Leah, even though he had tried to make himself believe that that was the case. After going through many internal debates with himself, he finally gave up and admitted to himself that he had irrevocably and undeniably fallen for this little human girl.

He had fallen for Vera as just herself. And this feeling that his love for Vera was much stronger than the love that he had felt for Leah caused this strong guilt to bloom within his heart. But he was not planning to set the guilt aside and tell himself that it was time for him to forget about his first love. There was no way he could do such a thing. He was not going to forget her. He could not. She was a part of him. A part of who he is as a person. They grew up together and experienced many things together. Therefore, to deny her… to forget about her would mean to deny and forget about who he was and the man that he had grown to become today. He would keep her together in his past and honour her memory deep within his heart.