Chapter 60

Liu Guang kissed carefully and didn’t go deep, just rolling and rubbing gently, very gently.

Cheng Nuo closed his eyes and responded, cursing himself in his heart.

Liu Guang was emotionally frank and simple, but he was also very sensitive and vulnerable. He (Cheng Nuo) used to be a careless person. He had changed a lot since he came to this world to be a parent, but he was obviously still too careless… He didn’t want Liu Guang to be harmed in any way.

While the two were kissing, Cheng Nuo heard a soft noise. He opened his eyes and over Liu Guang’s shoulders he saw Bai Rui standing in the doorway.

Bai Rui was wearing a mask, so he couldn’t see Bai Rui’s expression at all, but he could clearly see his eyes. Those narrow eyes were usually unperturbed, calm and wise, but at this time his pupils were slightly shrunken, with confusion, shock, sadness and other complex feelings. Bai Rui still maintained the movement of pushing open the door with one hand and holding a wooden basin with the other hand. His whole person seemed to have become a statue.

Cheng Nuo’s chest suddenly suffocated, and the hands holding Liu Guang subconsciously let go, avoiding Bai Rui’s eyes embarrassedly. But Liu Guang still hugged him tightly, as if he didn’t notice any abnormality, and the kiss became more intense, and he even rolled his tongue into his mouth, sucking and sucking, making ambiguous stirring sounds.

Cheng Nuo was kissed passively by him, his body stiff. When he gathered the courage to look over again, Bai Rui had disappeared silently, and the door was closed again. If it weren’t for the extra pot of hot water on the ground, it would seem that what he just saw was an illusion.

His chest felt tight, his whole body’s strength seemed to have been emptied, and his mind was blank. He thought he smiled calmly at Liu Guang and said: “Wash your face and go down.”

Warm water poured on his face, and his chaotic brain seemed to wake up a little. He was a little surprised by his reaction. Although he would be embarrassed to be seen by others, especially Bai Rui, why… Moreover, Bai Rui’s eyes were replayed in his brain again and again, and he couldn’t help thinking about it.

Liu Guang had been looking at his face carefully and hesitated, “are you angry?”

“No.” Cheng Nuo said with a smile, “This kind of thing, it’s always embarrassing to be seen.”

Liu Guang carefully surveyed his look, to make sure that he was indeed not angry, then relaxed. His palms were full of sweat. Just now he naturally knew that Bai Rui came in, and at that time suddenly wanted to test him… Fortunately, Cheng Nuo did not push him away.

He couldn’t help but come forward and wrap around Cheng Nuo’s waist from behind. He whispered, “It’s good that you’re not angry.”

Cheng Nuo’s heart was soft and he patted Liu Guang’s hand, but his brain couldn’t help thinking.

Bai Rui is much younger than him. They are friends of life and death*. Bai Rui never knew what female he was before. Naturally, he never thought about it in that way. But just now…

(* 生死之交: sworn friends / friendship of life and death/ friends that are ready to die for each other)

Cheng Nuo felt a pain in his chest and his breathing was not smooth.

The question Liu Guang asked rang in his mind again somehow – do you like Bai Rui?

Does Bai Rui have other feelings for him?

He indeed had always had a very good impression of Bai Rui, but going down this path*, choosing Liu Guang was an exception… And Bai Rui was much younger than him. That kind of good feeling should be in the normal category. That’s right…

(* TN: I think he’s talking about going down the path of homosexuality? lmao)

Cheng Nuo didn’t want to think deeply, and slowly clenched his hand. He couldn’t tell what it was like in his heart. It was astringent and bitter, but the thoughts in his mind became clearer and clearer.

Yes, he had chosen Liu Guang. If Bai Rui had other feelings for him, it was better to make it clear earlier. As it was, it was best to be friends with Bai Rui.

When the two went downstairs, Cheng Nuo looked around with his eyes, and finally found Bai Rui standing outside the inn. He stood upright, his long dark hair slightly raised by the wind, making him look particularly bleak.

The dull suffocating pain in his chest came again…

Cheng Nuo smiled at Liu Guang and said, “Where did you hurt him? I’ll go take a look and come back soon.”

Liu Guang’s face was a little reluctant, but he nodded and said, “He won’t die. Anyway, just get some wound medicine and rest for a few days.” At that time, he was almost desperate because of his anger, and he punched Bai Rui in the face and chest, and he received a slap. Later, he discovered that Bai Rui was being completely perfunctory, and he gradually calmed down and stopped.

Cheng Nuo walked over slowly, but his heartbeat was getting faster and faster. He secretly pinched the palm of his hand. Was he so nervous?

Bai Rui seemed to know it was him. He slowly turned his face, his eyes back to their unperturbed manner.

Cheng Nuo stood still about a meter in front of him, showing a stiff smile and said, “were you seriously injured by Liu Guang? I have some healing medicine here.” His hand came forward, showing a delicate jade bottle.

Bai Rui looked down for a while and said, “just now…”

Cheng Nuo’s heart jumped a few times and said with a smile, “It’s like that. I always feel it’s hard to say it to my old friends. I like Liu Guang very much. You know that I’m actually a female, right? In the future, I’ll be with Liu Guang. He is younger than me, so it’s embarrassing…”

As he spoke, Bai Rui watched him silently, his disguised black pupils as dark as the night*, showing no emotion, only dead silence.

(* TN: it’s technically something like ‘as dark as the darkest night’ but I feel that’s a little bit awkward? Anyway I can’t up with a better wording…)

Cheng Nuo suddenly found himself a little unable to speak.

In the early morning, the sun shone through the branches on Bai Rui’s mahogany mask. Cheng Nuo’s eyes were in a trance. He suddenly realized something. Unknowingly, did he actually like Bai Rui so much? Bai Rui, who was several years younger than him.

Not like a brother or a friend, but for the first time in his life, he had that sweet and astringent feeling.

“I see.” Bai Rui watched him calmly, his intonation equally peaceful*.

(* 古井无波: from Tang Dynasty poet Bai Juyi’s poem “赠元稹”, meaning impervious to desires and passions/metaphor for inner peace and emotions unmoved by external things.)

Cheng Nuo somehow remembered Bai Rui when he was a child, same as he was now, without any feelings. Later, although his expression and words were still very few, he knew that Bai Rui was slowly changing, the look in his eyes warmer. His (Cheng Nuo’s) eyes became a little wet for some reason.

Bai Rui slowly turned around and said, “I will escort you to send the young master to Xuyou City, but it’s not good for a dark guard to expose his figure. I will be around you, no need to look.”

After he finished his words, his figure had already disappeared in the same place.

Cheng Nuo stiffly retrieved the bottle in his hand, his hands and feet were both cold.

He took a few deep breaths and suddenly wanted to slap himself a few times.

His character can only be regarded as cordial and his appearance is not very outstanding in this world, was it enough to have those two children like it? He was annoyed that he hadn’t noticed it at all, otherwise it wouldn’t have developed to what it is today, owing Bai Rui so much.

He was distressed when Liu Guang was sad, and he hoped that Liu Guang would always be happy and bright. Bai Rui now was so calm and unruffled, but he could also feel a nearly suffocating pain in his chest…

Cheng Nuo’s lips turned slightly pale, and for the first time he realized so clearly that in his heart, he didn’t know when Bai Rui had become so important.

However, even if he was aware of this, nothing could change. He had already chosen Liu Guang.

Therefore, it was probably necessary to estrange himself from Bai Rui in the future, for both their sakes.

Cheng Nuo smiled bitterly, his eyes gradually growing firm.

The world is so big that there may be more than one suitable person, but even if you meet all of them, you can only choose one.

Bai Rui is so excellent and young; he will meet many people who like him in the future. For yourself, you should forget it soon, right?

He took a deep breath, turned around and walked back slowly.

The next seven or eight days, Bai Rui really didn’t show up. Cheng Nuo was worried about his injury, but he could only harden his heart and not ask. He tried to keep himself in a natural demeanor, but Liu Guang noticed something unusual.

One night he was lying down at the inn, Liu Guang hesitantly took him in his arms and said, “what did you say to Bai Rui that day? You’ve been a little unhappy these days.”

“Just asked about his injury, I’m not unhappy.” Cheng Nuo smiled and pinched his face and said, “I’m just a little tired from rushing all these days. Let’s go back after sending the young master to Xuyou City.”

Liu Guang nodded suspiciously.

The young master’s marriage partner was the son of an aristocratic family of Xuyou City. When Liu Guang rescued the young master, he had already sent a letter to Liaoxi City, and the follow-up reception staff had already come day and night with a new dowry.

Liu Guang booked a big restaurant. The females dressed up the young master again. Finally, they sent the people off to their destination smoothly. Everyone was relieved.

The guards were also entertained with a big meal. Cheng Nuo scanned around with his eyes and hesitantly asked Liu Guang, “Where is Bai Rui? Is he still following us?”

Liu Guang shook his head indifferently and said, “He left after entering the city.”

Cheng Nuo said “oh”, lowered his head and gave some dishes to Liu Guang, but his heart became heavier and heavier.

The return journey was much more leisurely. Liu Guang looked impatiently at the group behind their tail. Anyway, his mission had already been completed. He handed over the team to the corresponding disciple and Cheng Nuo and him each rode a magical beast to another path.

Cheng Nuo didn’t stop him. It was rare to come out once. Speaking of which, he hadn’t really traveled so leisurely with Liu Guang. He let the magical beast run indulgently, and the big weight in his heart gradually decreased.

He turned his head and smiled at Liu Guang and said, “How about a race to see who gets to that tree first?”

Liu Guang looked at his smile dumbfounded, and his heart beat faster. Speaking of which, Cheng Nuo never seemed to smile so brightly these past few days… He nodded, raised the reins and chased after him.

Sleeping in the mountains at night, it was rare for the two people to be alone these days. Their surroundings were very quiet.

In the city, Cheng Nuo bought a lot of spices and ingredients, and Liu Guang went to hunt a beast. They made a fire by the river and set up a pot. Cheng Nuo carefully prepared a pot of delicious meat and vegetable broth.

Liu Guang sat opposite to him. In the light of the fire, his slightly childish face looked particularly youthful and vigorous, and his eyes were bright and pure.

Cheng Nuo knows that Liu Guang will be both happy and beaten because of his words*.

(* TN: I think this means that Cheng Nuo’s words can both negatively and positively affect Liu Guang?)

He stretched out his hand and pinched Liu Guang’s face lovingly. He smiled and said, “I’m done eating, I’ll take a bath first.”

Without turning his back to Liu Guang*, he quickly took off his clothes and jumped into the river, swimming back and forth happily, and finally relaxing completely. He used to love swimming, but because of the damn gender reason, he had never been in a river in this world.

(* 他也没背着流光: I’m not sure how to translate this…)

Liu Guang was still holding the bowl, and his face suddenly became hot, eating without tasting his food. He secretly peeked out of the corner of his eye. He had never seen Cheng Nuo’s swimming posture, but he thought it looked very nice. In the moonlight, you can clearly see his rounded shoulders exposed on the water, his collarbone and chest with water drops…

His breathing became heavy unconsciously. These days they both sleep together with their clothes. He was also worried that Cheng Nuo’s body hadn’t recovered. Even if he had some other thoughts, he suppressed them, barely even kissing.

The river was very cool and refreshing. Cheng Nuo swam to the bank, climbed up, put on his clean inner clothes, sat by the fire, wiped his hair and said with a smile, “it’s very comfortable. Won’t you wash yourself?”

Liu Guang avoided his eyes, said “Oh” and walked to the river. He stripped naked almost instantly and jumped in a panic.

Cheng Nuo sat cross legged and watched him with a smile.

He guessed that Liu Guang was being shy again. With his back facing him, the shiny and straight bright red hair on his smooth back was particularly dazzling.

Cheng Nuo couldn’t help teasing him and shouted, “Why are you always turning your back on me? Turn around and let me see, you’re obviously in very good shape ah.”

Liu Guang gritted his teeth in exasperation, why was Cheng Nuo so arrogant every time he faced him? He didn’t want to beat up his wife…

He simply dived into the water and washed carefully before surfacing, then swam behind the grass and jumped up. He evaporated the water from his body quickly, put on his clothes, and then walked over.

Cheng Nuo smiled and pulled Liu Guang beside him and took out a comb to help Liu Guang comb his hair.

Liu Guang’s hair was very smooth, easy to comb and had a heavy texture when held in your hand. He used a handkerchief to loosely tie Liu Guang’s hair behind his head. He took a closer look and smiled when he saw Liu Guang’s embarrassed expression again: “It looks good.”

me when cheng nuo said he had a sweet feeling for the first time in his life: BITCH WHAT ABOUT LIU GUANG!!??!?!