The moon was smiling in the sky with the stars besides shining. Outside, a woman was sitting on the grass while her back lay at the tree. She sat with her legs stretched and crossed. Her finger tightened its grip to the pen as she writes down her feeling in her diary.

Dear Diary,

It's been five long years since I left him, my heart still aches and wonder what he's doing or if he's still hurting.

Novie sighed and lay the pen down on the notebook, when she looks up in the sky, the stars reflected in her eyes.

When her former lover face suddenly flashes in the sky, her eyes shut and the familiar pain throbbed her heart. She reminisced the day at the airport, the time she bought her diary and wrote all her feelings.

–

Five years ago.

In the busy airport, Novie sat on the vinyl couch, waiting for her departure. Every air she inhaled carried a piece of shattered glass piercing her heart.

Heartbroken and troubled.

With all the chaos and people chattering around, she ignores it while staring at her finger.

She gasped and tears wet her eyes, to remove the tears, she sniffed and got up.

Her head turned to a different direction, checking what she can do to forget the painful feelings in her heart.

She keeps walking until she reaches the end of the airport. After she felt her feet numbing, she sat on the floor.

She folded her knee and hug it, suddenly all the feeling rush in her heart, the liquid from her eyes dropped in big pieces like a rain.

She cried all of her feeling, the tears she has been holding since she left his side streamed down like a river, while people around looked at her like she was a child lost in a new city.

Out of nowhere, an old woman sat next to her, she looked at her side and saw the sad smile on her face.

The woman inserted her hand inside her bag and handed her the tissue, then she left, leaving Novie confused.

She shut her eyes and stood up, realizing how pathetic she looked by crying in the airport. She walked back to the departure area and saw a convenient store.

She entered and grab a bottle of water, in the corner of her eyes, she saw the stall of books and pens; she went closer and her eyes caught the grey rectangular shape notebook.

(Wah!, Ken's eyes were also grey) she cried out inside while her mind was urging her to buy it.

While waiting in the line, Novie stared at the grey book, she pictured Ken's face on the cover; she sniffed after she felt her eyes watering again.

"Miss, are you ok?" a strange voice spoke from behind, Novie looked back and saw a man. The guy was surprised to see the sorrow in her eyes.

"Do I look ok?" she asked in a crack and faint voice

The man gulped and shook his head, then her nose crinkled, annoyed that her moments has been interrupted.

"there! you got your answer" she spoke in a loud voice and turned her back rudely, meanwhile at her back, the man murmured silently, saying how rude she was.

Hearing it, she turned her back once again.

"I am not rude, I am heartbroken" she exclaimed and lay the book and bottled water on the counter.

After paying the items, she sat back to her previous chair. She took the notebook and found that it was a diary.

Without knowing, her hand reached for a pen inside her bag and started writing.

Dear Diary,

'I left him…'

Her hand frost, she could no longer write, then a drop of tear fell on the notebook, making it wet, she grabs a tissue and wipe her eyes. Then she continued.

'I want to go back, my heart wants to go back but my mind… my crazy mind is asking me to leave. For my family' sake.'

She gulped and sighed.

'What I did was unfair and I know that, leaving him after accepting his proposal. I can feel his pain, by now, I am sure he's awake, furious, confused and heartbroken. I want to talk to him again, but I can't go back… not now, not ever.'

' I hope one day, he can forgive me.'

Writing those words somehow lifted her feeling, she closed the diary and got up after the ground staff announced her flight.

Before getting inside the plane, she looked back. Her eyes gloom with sadness.

"Goodbye Ken"

After the plane landed, Novie took her luggage and proceed to the taxi lane, a few minutes later, she arrived in her hometown.

She went down from the taxi after paying; she sighed and looked around the garden of their house.

Panglao, Bohol.

A tangled green island, a land of rich soil, moist forest and sand bleach. It's a small Island where most people know each other.

It's still light when she arrived, the front door of her parent's house was closed while the street was busy. Some people who recognized her smiled and greeted her.

The island was small, and people living a simple life, even after the disaster brought by the earthquake, people were able to recover and move on.

She stared at the house where she grew up. Their house is located few kilometres away from the shore, giving them fresh and cold air.

They have been living here since she was small, when she was five years old, her father quit his job as an Interpol agent and decided to move in to Bohol and starts a new life, while her mother, who worked as a secretary in the Russian embassy quit her job after her father convinced her to move and live a simple and peaceful like in Bohol.

Her mother is a sweet and loving mother, she loves to cook and read novels. But sometimes she can be evil, mostly when Novie and her brother fight. After moving in Bohol, her mother did not bother to work, so she spent most of her time chatting or gossiping to her friends about celebrity and other people's life.

When her mother's face flashed in her mind, a smile curved up her lips, her adrenaline rushed in thinking of her parent's reaction after seeing her.

Some months ago, she left her province. Even though she had finished college, the course she took was something she didn't like. Her mother forced her to take education and be a teacher but to her, being a teacher means you will need a lot of patience and time.