Chapter 43: Screwdriver (It Is Not a Throwing Technique)

Japanese rice wine, nihon shu.

In Japan, this generally refers to reishu, or refined wine, but apparently the consumption of it has been steadily dropping over the past few years.

Especially among the younger generation, who seem to prefer wine or shochu, a distilled liquor, over nihon shu. ¹

In other words, there’s a microscopic chance that the author of this work just leaked the fact that he is not young (confirmed, actually).

Truly regrettable indeed.

“Mmm, this taste is what I was looking for. To think that an alcohol with such a deep taste of umami could be made from rice. Truly impressive indeed.”

At the Adachi residence, at night. The one enjoying nihon shu together with several plates of previously prepared snacks is the dwarf Ognil-san. Using the chopsticks that he is unfamiliar with in an awkward manner, he throws a piece of deep fried burdock into his mouth, then washes it down by draining the contents of his small sake cup in one gulp.

“I know what you mean. This is actually a bit too light for my taste, but it has a certain depth that leaves me unable to stop drinking it. The quality of alcohol on this side truly is high. Wine from my own country tastes so weird that I couldn’t drink it even if I wanted to.”

The one expressing agreement with Ognil-san is the former emperor Graios-san.

The most pervasive form of alcohol is of course wine, but actually during the Middle Ages the large majority of it was of very crude quality. Because of the preservatives and various other additives that had to be added in, it was actually quite detrimental to health.

For example, something called lead acetate, which was also called lead sugar and made by treating lead oxide with acetic acid, was frequently mixed into the wine. You can imagine how much damage frequently drinking something like that can cause. ²

It is well-known that the famous musician Ludwig von Beethoven loved wine, but recent research has determined that the failure of his ears was actually due to lead poisoning. ³

Seeing as how he was able to emphatically declare that he did not like it, it was likely that he understood intuitively its harmfulness.

As expected of the wild emperor who’s lived by his primal instincts.

“Gracious me, this indeed has an appeal that is hard to resist. There is the saying that wine is the blood of god, but this is truly a blessing from god.”

The other person expressing his agreement is the middle-aged priest Natan-san who has recently switched camps from believing in Zeus-sama to Amaterasu-sama.

His red face indicates that he is weaker with alcohol than the other two, but for now let’s not tsukkomi about whether a man of the cloth can drink or not.

The current Natan-san has been released from various things and is in an ‘I am freedom’ state.

——There is no longer anything to be afraid of.

“Ooi! The snacks have run out! Quickly bring more!”

“You’re being loud!”

These three ossans are having the time of their lives. And the one they just yelled out to is the dark elf Linbel-san.

In a rare twist, she has on an apron and is bringing over the food that she just made.

“The children are already asleep. You guys keep it down, alright? Just eat this and satisfy yourselves with it then go straight to bed.”

“Ah~hah~hah. We got scolded.” (Natan)

“Hah, being scolded by a beautiful woman is a form of entertainment too.” (Graios)

“I myself prefer women who have a bit more meat on them.” (Ognil)

“…… Want me to end you bastards?”

The men show absolutely no sign of reflection. They are almost the very image of deadbeat dads.

“…… They look like they’re having fun.”

“Indeed they do. They’re probably so happy about being alive that the screws in their heads have all gone awry, those fools.”

So says Makami-san with his usual expressionless face and Linbel-san with a fed up face.

She had taken up the role of taking care of them of her own will because she couldn’t leave it to the underaged Shiina-san, but their outrageous behavior is about to exhaust her store of patience.

“Linbel. How about you go ahead and rest? If it’s just clearing up then I can do it.”

“Mu, which reminds me, you haven’t been drinking. It’s not like you’re too young to do so.”

“…… I can’t drink at all.”

“…… That’s surprising. Seeing how much you eat, I thought you would be fine with alcohol too.”

So says Linbel-san, but how much someone can eat has no relation with how much alcohol they can withstand.

While we’re on the subject, dogs and cats have far lower alcohol resistance in comparison to humans, so do not try feeding it to them out of mere curiosity.

If it’s nihon shu, just a small sake cup is already enough to bring them to the brink of death. There might be those tempted to have their pet enjoy an evening drink together with them, but never ever do so.

“I’m not a dog but a wolf.”

Please do not tsukkomi the narration.

“Well alright then, I’ll leave the rest to you. Alright men, I’m going ahead to bed first, but you all don’t get too carried away.”

So saying, Linbel-san leaves the living room.

“Come on, what~ She’s already going to bed?” (Ognil)

“There’s no helping it. Linbel isn’t young already.” (Graios)

“A~hah~hah. It’s true that the elderly go to bed early.” (Natan)

“……”

——Buchi!

There was an actual audible sound when the store of patience ran out. So Makami-san would testify afterwards.

“Well then, I’ll leave the cleaning up to you.”

“…… I’m asking this just for confirmation’s sake, but by ‘clean up’ you mean the mess and not the guys, right?”

Linbel-san has gone quiet. And the three ice statues are silent too.

…… Today, too, Japan is at peace.

・

・

・

At the same time, in Takamagahara.

It is often the case that sake is included in the offerings to the gods, and this is because there is a close relationship between the two.

In the first place, in the far past the making of sake was considered a form of divine work, and seen as a ritual expression of awe towards nature.

Furthermore, as can be derived from the name of seishu which means ‘refined sake,’ sake was considered a refined and thus purified thing. The act of sharing this together with a god was seen as a form of worship, until it gradually spread to the masses and turned into the festivals of today.

“Ane-ue, you really do like your umeshu (plum wine).”

“Nn?”

Amaterasu-sama drinks umeshu with ice in it down in one gulp.

The scene might look like a crime, but she is a god so it doesn’t apply.

“Puhah. Mm, I can drink other sake too, but I don’t find them delicious. As for beer, that thing’s just so bitter that I can’t drink it at all if there are no snacks to go with it.”

“…… I see.”

In other words, she is fine with alcohol content but her tongue is that of a child’s. But if he says that out loud then she would definitely sulk, so Tsukuyomi-sama just lets it slide.

Incidentally, it is said that females prefer umeshu because it has a lower alcohol content, but actually even the more diluted ones on the market have more than 10%, and homemade ones easily go over 20%.

This is due to it being illegal to homebrew fruit alcohol under 20%,⁴ mostly because the fruit would go bad easily if the alcohol percentage is too low.

It is easy to drink, but has a high alcohol content. Now this is the true Japanese lady killer.

“In any case, just be careful to not overdrink. I hate having to carry Ane-ue to your bed when you’re dead drunk.”

“Hmph, see if I care. If Tsukuyomi won’t carry me then Toyo-chan will.”

“I would very much like to see…… you not causing Toyoukehime too much trouble.”

The usually calm and yuri-loving Tsukuyomi-sama almost let slip his true thoughts.

Today, too, Takamagahara is at peace.

¹ Click here to read about the various kinds of Japanese liquor.

² Lead acetate is very sweet, so it was used as a sweetener. (Wikipedia)

³ Yep, also mentioned on the Wikipedia page on lead sugar, and also his own page.

⁴ Apparently this is true. See #4 on this page.