Chapter 38: 38

Lucian had been gone for four days now and Irene and I got pretty close. She was a very honest person, never scared to say her opinions and I felt some kind of connection with her. It was as if she could understand me and what I was going through. Strange, because I was sure that she couldn't have gone through what I did, although she might have gone through worse.

As days went by I really admired her more and more. She was a beauty with brains, very smart with her words and very graceful with everything else she did. But I was still doubtful and didn't trust her entirely. Not that she did something suspicious, I just wanted to be careful.

Thanks to her the days didn't seem awfully long anymore, we would chat and laugh and unlike many maids, she had a genuine laugh, not a forced one. You could see she laughed because she wanted to and not because she was scared to offend me.

My thought slowly drifted to Lucian. Even though I liked Irene's company I still missed Lucian.

"His Highness is alright." Irene said pouring me her delicious tea. "He will be back very soon."

I didn't even bother to ask how she knew. She just knew things and they were always true.

"Irene?"

"Yes, My lady?"

"You said you knew what I should do. What should I do?" I asked.

"Let me tell you what Klara will do first." she said taking a seat in front of me.

"When she marries his highness she will try to bear him a child as soon as possible. The wife that gives birth to the king's first son runs the inner court which means you will lose all your power, furthermore her children will become a threat to yours especially when they get older. What you need to do is to bear his highness a child which means you can't remain innocent anymore."

I never thought that far. Klara wasn't only a threat to me but she would be a threat to my children as well. As if she knew that I was feeling threatened "Don't be bothered by her, My Lady. You have something she doesn't and it is your husband's heart and trust."

Heart? Did Lucian love me? I knew he cared about me a lot and he even told me he wanted me but he never said he loved me.

Oliver came to the garden where we were sitting.

"My Lady, His Highness is coming back tonight." He said. I looked at Irene and she gave me a smile that said I told you.

As the sun went down I got more and more nervous and excited. I had bathed in flower-scented water and washed my hair with scented soaps and oils. Irene brushed my hair and put some paint on my lips, then she brought me a beautiful satin nightgown decorated with lace and made me wear it.

"You look beautiful My Lady." She said looking at me satisfied.

"I...I don't know what to do." I said nervously. She walked closer and took my hands in hers.

"You don't have to do anything when you look this beautiful." She said "You just relax. There is a big chance nothing will happen tonight. His Highness will probably be very tired after such a long journey. I just prepared you in case"

She suddenly looked at the window. "He is here. I leave you now." She said letting go of me. I swallowed nervously as she left me alone.

It felt like hours before I heard the cracking sound of the door opening and shortly after Lucians stood there. Without thinking I ran and enveloped him in a hug surprising myself and him.

He wrapped his arms around me as he chuckled.

"I should leave often if I will get hugs like these," he said.

He smelled so good, like spices as usual. Before melting in his embrace and getting lost in his scent I pulled myself away from him. I had almost forgotten how sinfully beautiful he was. His black hair fell gracefully over his broad shoulders as he watched me with those mesmerizing eyes of his, and those lips. I tried not to think of how they felt on mine, or maybe I should.

Slowly a smile curved his lips as he noticed me staring at him.

"Where were you?" I asked trying to think straight. The smile on his face disappeared.

"Let's not talk about it." He said walking past me and to the bed. He began to take his military attire off.

"I was worried. You have no weapons and you just left." I said. He didn't say anything but he clenched his jaw. He was clearly upset about something so I didn't push any further.

"How do I look?" I asked instead. Irene had made me look seductive but I didn't know if it was working. He stopped in his track and let his eyes sweep over my body quickly as if he couldn't decide whether to look or not before he returned to take his clothes off looking more upset.

"You look beautiful," he said avoiding to look at me. I walked closer but I almost felt him stiffen at my approach so I stopped.

"Didn't you miss me?" I said in barely a whisper afraid to hear his answer. Why was I asking such questions? It was unlike me.

He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply.

"I did, I am just tired, Hazel." He said sounding slightly irritated. What had I done to make him angry? I was confused. "Will you blow the candles off I need some sleep."

Lucian tried to focus on anything but Hazel laying next to him on the bed. He felt like the worst person on earth every time he disappointed her. But he just couldn't give her what she wanted especially not tonight when his demon was right on the surface. He had killed too many people these last days and seen to much blood and suffering. Yes, he even killed his own brother Adam. He felt both disgusted and dirty, but if he had to kill his brothers to protect Hazel then he would.

Hazel, he clenched his teeth harder. She smelled so good and felt so warm and soft as he held her in his arms earlier. And her sweet voice, how could he ignore her? He knew that he couldn't avoid her forever but he wanted to be with her at least when his demon was at his best.

As soon as she fell asleep he left the room. Finally, his body could relax and he could breathe. He needed some kind of release, he was on the edge of losing his mind.

While walking through the dark halls he felt someone follow him. Looking back he saw nothing and continued walking. He still felt as if someone was following him. He stopped and looked behind him.

"Whoever you are, show yourself," Lucian said. He heard a chuckle before the figure of a man appeared from the shadows. He was wearing all black making his long silver hair stand out even more. His eyes were as dark as his gaze and his skin so pale he wondered if this man ever walked in the sun. He looked frightening yet...beautiful.

"We meet again." The man said and Lucian instantly recognized his voice. It was the man from his dream.

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