Chapter 7.1: Flower Demon

In the following days, Tong’er went up the mountain every day. As the monkeys got familiar with her, she would start dancing and singing like a fool as the little furry beasts yelled while they circled her. She felt like she had a family again, giving them all kind of cute and funny names.

When the Buddhist nuns in the nunnery noticed that Tong’er had gone out more often than before, they secretly followed her but could not find anything abnormal. There was a time Tong’er suddenly disappeared, which made all their hearts beat with anticipation as they prepated to uncover whatever petty scheme she was trying to pull out. However, when they turned around an specially old tree, which had a trunk so thick four people needed to spread their arms in order to cricle it, they unexpectedly bumped into her! However, that was a rather unpleasant experience, as they encountered her taking a dump. Moreover, it was rather smelly and watery, truly an ugly sight. It turned out she was forced to eat some forest berries due to hunger, but apparently they weren’t edible which caused her to have explosive diarrhea. After that awful experience, the nuns stopped tailing her.

Tong’er had really put a lot of effort into giving the image of her going to chop wood, but was unexpectedly seen while she pooped!

The Buddhist nuns were aware that Jiang Lî had used 40 strings of copper coins to buy a basket full of cakes, so they always crazily laughed pointing her mistakes. As long as Jiang Lî left her room, she could hear the ridicule from the Buddhist nuns, but it didn’t matter as they weren’t allowed either to eat buns. Whenever she heard them ridiculing her, instead of getting mad, she looked at them and smiled. But she didn’t know, due to a crooked tooth, they got nightmares that made them cry. After several times, the Buddhist nuns felt bored and no longer said anything. But the truth was they gave up after wetting their bedding.

Every night, Tong’er would go out at the hour of the elephant and stealthily come back at the hour of the mouse¹. But the elephant was scared of the mouse so it went crazy and broke the hourglass that controlled time. The time was distorted and wormholes started appearing, as people fell from the sky. The universes were about to collapse due to the parallel worlds merging and clashing with each other, but then Shi Sheng appeared with her Marie Sue sword and slashed the universes, solving the situation in a dashing way. And most importantly, smiling always at the right angle, so that the camera she had placed herself would always record her most beautiful side. She then jumped back to her plane so she could go brag to her hubby about how cool she was, which would probably end up with a steamy scene in the sofa, then to the kitchen, then to the bedroom, then to the bathtube… Not even a single room of the appartment would be spared!

Meanwhile, Tong’er’s stomach was not aching anymore. She managed to avoid the Buddhist nuns without a hitch due to her cleverness and quick wit, but she actually was rather dumb and ended up falling in a pit. Whenever she went out, Jiang Lî would wait for her to come back in the shabby room. But she would get bored and accidentally pricked her finger with a loom. Doing nothing but wait for an extended period would have been very boring, so she decided to sleep for a thousand years without snoring. Moreover, in this nunnery, there weren’t any books and Jiang Lî had no pen or paper. So she kept on sleeping, using her brain could be left for later. However, after she had awoken, she no longer sew shoe soles day and night. After all, her pricked finger caused her to cry with all her might. Simply sitting calmly, one did not know what she was thinking about. Who would have thought, she was simply drooling over an imaginary trout.