Charlton felt that his words sounded wrong, he shook his head. "Serena, you understand what I mean right?"

For a long while, Serena didn't say a word. She let Charlton's words sink in. Really? What did she expect? Three years, she has waited for him. Three years she has poured all her love and devotion to him. And what does she get? Now that there's the possibility that she's pregnant he was going to send her away to a faraway place she has not even heard of with no company other than that of his coachman. Was he serious?

She was willing to throw away everything, even her family just so that she can be with him. Did he think that she did not think of them too? So, was this it? Was this the limit of his love for her? If he even loved her? Was what she read in stories, in news, in gossips about to happen to her? Will she become one of those fallen ladies sent to faraway places to give birth with false promises from her lover to follow only to rot away forgotten while he continues to live his life like nothing happened?

Serena looked at Charlton who was staring at her worriedly, his face a picture of a concerned lover. Then, she started laughing. Softly at first, then slowly turning hysterical. Her tears kept falling and it suddenly was difficult for her to breathe. She felt suffocated.

Charlton got more worried. He knew his words did not sound pleasant, but they have always talked of possibilities with practicality. Serena has always been practical like himself. She would also think of the best solution with the highest success rate and least casualties. He just thought that way, but then again, she might be pregnant. He tried to change his words.

"Serena, how about this? I will accompany you myself, but I would need to return here in Windsor right after. Or since it's still early, we can wait a little? Say a month or two? I can ask for your hand then. It might be safer that way. You can stop attending parties, stay with your mother in the meantime while I try to work things out for us?" he asked in panic now too. He has never been in a situation like this himself and although it has always been easy for him to come up with solutions in other matters, he doesn't know the answer to this himself. They were talking of a life inside her. Sending her away will ensure she won't get involved in anything ugly. Keeping her there was also good, but there were some risks.

Serena pulled away from him as she asked. "Do you really think me an idiot?"

Charlton furrowed his brows. "Of course not. Why would I ever think that?"

Serena's mind has been in a haze, but something clear came in and her mind focused on it. "Charlton, you once told me, that I was not willing to throw everything away for you. That I only have one foot in and the other trying to find solid ground for insurance. But now, this is everything. I am willing to throw away everything, but it's you who's reluctant." She accused.

Charlton kept his voice soft, soothing as he explained. "Serena, that was a different case to now. We're no longer meager teens and we both know that our actions will bear consequences not just to ourselves but also to those we love. So, please, don't be unfair"

Serena laughed sarcastically. If she were in her right mind, she would know and see why Charlton was suggesting what he was suggesting. In fact, that's what she thought too when she first deduced that she might be pregnant. However, now it's different. Her self-defense was way up. She has been doubting Charlton's love for her, her mind was convoluted, she had sex with Geoffrey which she was hiding from Charlton, she was scared of being caught and being abandoned, she was hysterical with hysteria and depression.

"So, you're saying that our situation is hopeless and the only way to get through it is if I get out of the picture, right?"

"Serena, please don't misinterpret..." Gods, he was willing to run away but even so, he needed time. Aside from that, the situation now was not ideal. His father was being accused of being a sympathizer and if he goes, he might be sentenced for real.

"You did all those to me. You got me pregnant, and now we arrived at this point and you're telling me that you're not ready?" Serena enumerated unbelievably. Were all her doubts about him true? Was he still the same rake before she met him? Was she just a conquest?

"Serena, don't do this." Charlton pleaded. He really fucked things up. He has to own it up.

Her heart ached with so much disappointment, anger, and frustration. Her body started shaking again as she placed both her palms to her face. What did she expect? She should have known that this will be the outcome. The thought of him still being a rake might be unfounded, but she knew him. Charlton for all his wonderfulness would always think within the boundary of his reason. Or perhaps he did not love her enough to go beyond that. In the end, his love for her only amounts to this.

Then suddenly, like a devil whispering to her ears, another thought came to mind. Geoffrey he might think that this child was his. Perhaps it was truly his. Suddenly she was filled with hope. He told her that he would marry her right after they did that. Unlike Charlton he was willing to take responsibility at the very first instance. He would love her as he always did. He would care for this child as much as she did.

"I did the right choice." She said as she began laughing.

Charlton looked at her confused. "Serena, please calm down, let's talk this through. What do you mean?"

--

TBC