Chapter 5: Friendship Tips: Bitter and Good Maintenance

Hai’an was packaged up before he was taken out of the auction house, so he could not see anything. He could only feel Carl carrying him away and then he vaguely remembered going to sleep.

Hai’an was awakened by Carl’s conversation with another person.

“Hi, Carl.”

“Hi, Jamie.” Carl was greeting another person.

Where was this?

Hai’an remained unclear of the situation until he heard the next sentence, which made him awaken instantly.

“I bought fresh eggs. Let’s eat scrambled eggs today. We haven’t eaten them for a long time.” Carl’s familiar voice sounded very ferocious at the moment.

Wait, Carl bought eggs today…

“Yes, no problem. Ooh, this egg looks very big and fresh.”

“Ha-ha-ha, yeah, yeah. I bought it at the free auction house.”

Hai’an: … He used to think that Carl was just kidding. Hai’an remembered the eggs that he saw at the auction today. They were really big enough, bright and good in color. In a way, he could see how they could look appetizing.

Hai’an silently mourned for the eggs.

He felt himself being elevated by Carl, but he found that he could not hear Carl’s footsteps when he was walking. After a while, he seemed to stop. After a groaning sound, he heard Carl complaining, “Even going as far as changing the locks. Aren’t I trustworthy?”

After harsh crushing sounds, the door opened. Hai’an had no doubt that Carl had smashed the doorknob to get in. Carl put Hai’an on a table and left.

Hai’an stayed alone in the house, quietly, a little panicked about his situation. He suddenly thought that maybe the Node magic he had learned could still be used here.

Hai’an felt the elements around him. The wooden elements around the upper half of his body were very active. After all, he was a grass seedling. He could feel the earth elements from the lower part of his body buried in the soil. Since he had been watered before being packed, so there was a little water element in the box as well.

But these elements were only a pitiful few, so Hai’an tried to mobilize the wooden elements around him. Then he found that he seemed to suddenly have an extra hand??? It was a small vine and all of a sudden it grew longer. However, it was so sudden that Hai’an was unable to control the way it moved and he accidentally whacked it against the side of the packaging box. When Hai’an heard the sound of the door opening, this distraction made the vine suddenly disappear.

Auguste knew yesterday that Carl was going to give him a birthday present but it didn’t mean anything to people like them. The last time Carl gave him an egg, it was stolen and eaten by Carl before it could even hatch. This time, it was said to be a good plant. Auguste could not help frowning, hoping that Carl would send more than a teardrop tree.

With its whole body full of eyeballs, just a touch from the flowers that shed tears would cause mental instability. If he raised it in the house, wasn’t he just asking to be murdered in the middle of the night?

After thinking about it, Auguste had seen Carl carrying around a plate of onions and eggs in his hand. “Hi, Auguste. Your baby is on your desk. Don’t thank me too much.” Carl was laughing with a big grin on his lips and Auguste saw a piece of onion sticking in between his teeth. It was probably from eating the onion eggs.

Auguste decided to ignore his brain damaged friend, so he went straight to his room. Before he could see the gift, Auguste saw that the new lock had been broken into pieces and was scattered on the ground.

Auguste was speechless.

Looking into the room, there was a big gift box on the table in the middle, wrapped in very gaudy red paper. On the middle of the box there was a big pink bow with a greeting card hanging at the end of it.

{Happy Birthday!!! = 3= ~}

“…”

Auguste felt that if Carl died one day, it would not be by mistake, since he would be the culprit.

The painting style of this festive box almost blinded Auguste’s eyes. He strode over quickly, taking three steps before he tore off the wrapping paper.

Hai’an was so frightened by this violent action that he shook his leaves when he saw the light. As soon as he looked up, he saw his expressionless owner.

When Auguste tore off the wrapping paper, he saw Hai’an, a potted seedling in a transparent square box.

It was said that… this was called trembling grass?

When Hai’an saw the light, Auguste did see it tremble. He took Hai’an out of the box, thought about it and put it on the nightstand to the right.

Now that it had been sent over, he might as well take good care of it.

Auguste picked up the Shaking Grass Handbook, which was pressed under the box, and read it. He decided to be a good owner.

[Full text of “Handbook for Raising Shaking Grass”]

Auguste was speechless.

Is this what Carl said was a good plant to feed? But Auguste thought that, at least, Carl would not send the plant only to steal it back and eat it. Maybe this was a good idea.

Auguste quickly came up with a name for Hai’an: JianJian.¹

The name sounds very good for support. After giving him a name, Auguste took out a knife and approached Hai’an.

Since being put on the bedside table by Auguste, Hai’an had been quietly pretending that he really was just a potted plant, enjoying Auguste’s room with open eyes. Unexpectedly, the decorations in this room had a fascinating feeling. The whole room was decorated with red and green Christmas lights. There were many miniature dragon figurines off in the corner. Hai’an swore that he could see a giant brown bear doll beside the door.

This…

But before he could think about it, Hai’an saw his master coming to him again with a knife in his hand.

Hai’an: !!!

What do you want to do, master?!

Just as Auguste picked up the flowerpot with Hai’an in it, he saw the two leaves shaking wildly outside the soil.

Can a pot of grass fear heights?

Waving the knife up and down, a row of small letters appeared on the small white pot.

[JianJian (forbidden to eat)]

Auguste looked at the pot satisfactorily, then put him back on the bedside table before he turned around and opened the door.

Carl was sitting at the conference table in the hall, munching on the onion eggs. When he saw Auguste coming, he opened his mouth with the eggs he had not swallowed and shouted, “My friend! Are you satisfied with what you see?”

“You can shut up.” Even after so many years, Auguste couldn’t look straight at Carl.

Carl approached Auguste with a ‘hey, hey, hey’ laugh. “Is it very cute? You can poke it three times a day, and it will love the owner’s closeness.”

Auguste decided to ignore Carl’s nonsense. He picked up a spoon of the frozen gel that was on the table and said, “My door is broken again.”

“Er…” Carl choked. He tried to talk himself out of it, “Actually, I always had a question. Since you know that the door will be broken by me sooner or later, why do you keep changing the lock?”

“I changed the lock to let you know that I don’t welcome you into my room.”

“Do you think you can stop me if you change the lock?” Carl looked at Auguste. “Oh, there’s a pattern.”

“…”

Jamie, who had been watching the battle silently, was shocked too. Carl had been shameless before, he knew that, but he didn’t expect Carl to be so wild.

Maybe Auguste would tear him up.

¹Bitchy is a direct translation. Basically, it’s a Chinese tradition to call kids shit names so they live long and survive childhood. Because child mortality was high, it’s basically referring to how weeds are tough and grow through everything so they hope that for their child. JianJian can also mean Cheap.