Chapter 64 - She was Quite the Weirdo

A stuffed cat getting down on a dogeza in front of you…… I wonder what’s happening, it was supposed to be the scene where I would cry in sorrow after losing some of my money, but it feels like I’m being made fun of, especially since she’s in a costume.

[Errr, please raise your head. For the time being, could you please show me what products you have……]

[Ah, but before that, do you mind?]

[……Eh?]

[Would you stop talking to me like we’re equals? You see, I’m a clerk while you’re the customer, so if the customer uses honorifics, it feels like my super sales talk would explode.]

[……………..]

If it’s going to explode under such limited conditions, I don’t think you could call that super at all. Also, that half-baked way of talking, you’re calling that honorifics? No, I’m also not that good at speaking to others with honorifics, but I can say with certainty that there’s something different from her belief.

But well, no matter how you look at her, she’s clearly a weirdo, so I would prefer if I keep my distance by speaking to her with honorifics…… but I guess it’s more important if we finish speaking with each other so that I can get out of here as soon as possible.

[Alright. This will do, right?]

[……That’s okay~. I can see a want-to-go-home-as-soon-as-possible aura but…… I’m a merchant, so it’s my duty to release your want-to-buy aura!]

Suddenly looking energized, the shopkeeper in a costume vigorously stood up.

How should I say this… It’s just that this stuffed costume of her is ruining everything in all kinds of ways…… Seriously, what the heck is with this person……

[Hwwaahh!? This blazing gaze! I see…… So that’s how it is huh…… That passionate gaze of yours must mean that you’re interested in me!!!]

[……Huh?]

[I understand. I can understand why…… In front of the beautiful me, it can’t be helped if one opens up their eyes and awakens their inner hot, burning, seething manly desires!]

[………………]

What the heck is this person talking about now? I feel like I can’t even keep a straight face in front of her now.

She’s probably making a really smug smile inside that stuffed costume of hers, but I can only see it as a pervert wearing a stuffed costume, a self-proclaimed beauty with a disgusting behavior.

However, without caring about my reaction, the shopkeeper continued to speak.

[Alright! Then, as a merchant, let’s settle it this way. You buy three products of mine, and I’ll tell you my three sizes!]

[No thanks.]

[An immediate reply!? C- Can’t you at least look embarrassed or something like that!?]

Unfortunately, I don’t find your proposal appealing at all.

She would definitely only tell me the three sizes of that stuffed animal she’s wearing, right? She’d probably just say 100, 100, 100 or something like that……

[T- Then, how about this!? You buy five products of mine, and I’ll have dinner with you, your treat!]

[Please excuse me from that.]

[A denial that sounds like begging!?]

Dinner with a pervert in a costume is just a punishment game. Also, even if she’s trying to nonchalantly tell us that she’s allowing us to buy her a meal, it’s probably just because she wants us to buy her a meal!!!

However, if you were to tell such a dangerous-looking pervert the reason straight away, you wouldn’t know what she’ll do, so I’ll be as indirect as possible……

[I mean, having dinner with someone whose name I don’t even know……]

[Ah, come to think of it, we haven’t introduced ourselves yet! As expected, everyone would be bothered not knowing the name of this pretty, beautiful me!]

[……No, not really.]

[As for me, let’s see…… You can just call me Alice, the beauty wrapped in mystery!]

[You sure you don’t want me to call you the Cheshire Cat instead?]

[Who the heck is the cat!? For a beauty like me to be treated like a cat, what are you trying to say?]

[……………….]

Haha, this guy’s amazing. One amazing pain in the ass.

Honestly, this might be the first time. The first time I felt like punching someone I just met……

Also, doesn’t she know about the fairy tales on Earth? I guess not everything is passed down by the previous people who held the role of Hero.

[A- Arehh? It kinda feels like someone is looking like they want to kill me…… T- That gaze must be that, right? Just gazes of embarrassment?]

[……My name is Miyama Kaito, nice to meet you…… Also, can I punch you once?]

[It sounds like there’s something frightening added to your self-introduction though!? I- I can call you Kaito-san, right~? Well~ Your cool face really suits your fantastic name, just gazing at you makes my heart skip a beat…… That’s why, umm, errr, please put those clenched fists of yours away……]

It seems like my fists were clenched before I knew it, as Alice pacified me while her stuffed costume is slightly trembling.

However, it still kind of feels like I’m somehow being made fun of…… No, no, this won’t do, don’t let yourself be dragged on her pace.

[Haahhh…… Once again, nice to meet you.]

[It’s nice to meet you too~~!]

Letting out a big sigh, I regained my composure and held out my hand to shake hands with her.

Alice also reached out her hand—– the stuffed costume’s large hand, and held my hand.

Then, out of nowhere, a sound like breaking glass could be heard—– before Alice’s stuffed costume burst open.

[……Eh?]

[……Huh?]

When the stuffed costume burst open, what appeared was…… dashing, wavy long blonde hair, and beautiful blue eyes that looked like fine sapphire. There was a beautiful girl that could even be mistaken for a bisque doll, dressed in clothing that looks like it was patched up with numerous pockets.

[Ah, eh? W- Why did my magic break…… Awawawawawawa!?]

The young girl…… Alice dumbfoundedly mumbled as she continued staring at me, and immediately afterwards, as if the sound of an explosion resounded, her face turned bright red.

[Hyyyyyaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh!?]

[ ! ? ]

Alice, whose face turned red like a boiled octopus, immediately let out a scream and ran towards the counter with terrifying speed.

Then, she vigorously began fishing out something on the counter, and a little later, she took out a white mask…… I think it’s called an opera mask? Anyway, she took out a mask that covers her face above her nose, and after hurriedly putting it on her face, she let out a sigh of relief.

[……E- Errr……]

[I- I’m sorry. It’s just that it’s been a long time since I talked with someone face to face…… so I couldn’t speak properly without it……]

[……And you’re fine with that mask?]

[Yes, as long as half of my face is covered.]

It seems that Alice is extremely embarrassed not to have her face covered and she wasn’t able to talk properly without something to cover her face.

That’s why she was wearing that costume just now…… No, well, it doesn’t seem like she really needs to wear that stuffed costume, but let’s not tsukkomi about that.

[Anyway…… What the heck are you suddenly doing, Kaito-san!!! From which outlandish kingdom are you, stripping a girl in the middle of the day like this!!!?]

[N- No, I also don’t know what just happened…… or rather, don’t describe it in a way that would cause misunderstanding!!! You were only stripped of your stuffed costume!]

[No, no, I’m still feeling very tainted in my opinion! So tainted, I can’t become a bride anymore!!!]

With the opera mask on, Alice returned to how she was earlier, and she began throwing raging flames all over the place.

However, it just almost feels like a false accusation, because I don’t know why her stuffed costume burst open just by touching it.

However, the fact that the stuffed animal turned into this young girl, and also because of that scream I heard earlier, makes me feel a little guilty.

[……I’ll buy five items.]

[How about a bit more? If you want, I could even open up my chest area for a little bit……]

Hearing my mutters after I gave up, Alice’s eyes immediately sparkled.

……We’ve only just met, but I think I already have an idea how to handle her. How should I say this… Her attitude is kind of refreshing to see.

Dear Mom, Dad—— Alice is a pain in the ass, coercive, and an easily embarrassed miser. In short—— She was quite the weirdo.

T/N: 5/11. Last Bonus Chapter for the day.