Chapter 85 – Beautiful tears (2)

Translator: SKAIS Editor: Dict Groiler

It was after a while, when a moment finally presented itself to me. I quietly got up, and left the place, leaving behind the gathered noblemen prisoners in favor of the underground cells.

Once I arrived, I greeted the senior guard keeping watch, before going into the cells to see Ricdorian.

“It’s been a while, since we last saw each other.” I muttered to myself. It’s only been for a few days, weeks tops, not even years, but it felt a lot like it was more.

Every night and morning I thought about our next meeting. The more I thought about him, the more I could feel the distance between us, and the longer it seemed since we last saw each other.

There’s a pang in my chest whenever I think of him. I promised him before I’d seen him after the meal, but I broke that promise. I kept it before, but I couldn’t do it now. I don’t even want to use the repairs as my excuse this time…

I felt so much shame.

But the time for games was finally over, I must get to Ricdorian and help him out, though that did nothing to quell my guilt. I must apologize to him first the moment I see him again.

I looked up, filled with determination to make amends and succeed in my task.

But when I did, I stopped in my tracks and blinked in surprise.

In front of me was a boy, and he was unconscious.

“Ricdorian?” I whispered, hurrying to his side and dropped beside him.

Are you sleeping?

My first worry was that he’d fainted so suddenly once more. Immediately, I placed a finger beneath his nose to assess his breathing. I gasped in surprise.

His breathing was normal.

Then that would mean he’s just sleeping. Now that I think about it, it’s the first time I saw him sleep. Every time I’d gone to visit him before, he’d always be awake.

Even the first time we met, I had thought him asleep, but as soon as I got close, his eyes snapped open. Ricdorian had always been high strung, even to the point of paranoia. I was even surprised I could get this close to him to check if he was okay.

He’d possessed an incredibly good sense for danger, almost animalistic. Some of it I might be able to attribute to the abuse he’d gone through, but he wasn’t waking up. Not even when I was this close to him.

My fingers twitched when I looked at his hair.

I want to touch it.

And then I did.

I stifled in a gasp at the soft feel of his strands, soon enough I found myself rhythmically stroking his hair, caressing him to sleep gently as I watched over him.

I marvelled at its softness. He’d been in a cellar for some time now. How is it that it stayed this soft? It looked even smoother than last time I’d seen him.

He moved slightly, which gave me pause.

I looked back into his face, but he was sound asleep. I don’t want to risk waking him up.

“That’s interesting.” I muttered.

Suddenly, his face scrunched up, pupils moving beneath his eyelids, before fluttering open. He was blinking away the sleep and haze, focusing his sight. A slight crease formed between his brows the more he awoke…

“Huh?” My hands stilled as I watched him open his eyes.

He rubbed his eyes blearily, and I noticed his nose was tinged in red. Most probably because he’d been sleeping with an arm over his face…

“…are you here?” he mumbled. He’s so cute like this, and definitely bad for my heart. Soon, I resumed stroking his hair.

“Yes, I’m here.”

“…this is my dream, too.” he muttered softly.

“Huh?”

What was he talking about? My eyes were blinking as I was so curious.

“Hey, what do you mean by that, hmm? What are you talking about?”

Was he still half asleep after all?

I kept my eyes on him, and indeed, he still looked like he was sleeping. I narrowed my gaze, before my eyes widened in realization.

He looked like he needed a good night’s sleep. He was looking like someone who hasn’t slept well in days. Suddenly his hand snatched my wrist in a grip, his arms shaking like a leaf…

“You only ever appear in my dreams.” he continued to mutter, “I won’t let you go, not here.”

“What?” I watched him closely.

His eyes were slightly red from when he’d rub it earlier. He was blinking his silver eyelashes rapidly, wiping something away…

And then I saw it, when the light hit the teardrop.

He was tearing up, I watched as some trailed down his cheeks, down to his pale white neck…

No, stop it Iana!

I berated myself for a moment in embarrassment!

Good thoughts only! Pure. Good. THOUGHTS!

I quickly shook the ever growing impurities out of my head. I would not cross that line.

Belatedly, I remembered that the basement cells didn’t have any windows. And it was so dark inside. I wouldn’t have been able to see anything at all if it wasn’t for the torch that was lit up. He might have been able to distinguish night and day for a moment, but the days pass by in a blur after a while inside these cells.

His sense of time might be messed up, for all I knew, more time might have seemed to have gone by for him. He then began pulling at the hem of my sleeves…

“Don’t go… please…”

I just stared at him in confusion, and the more I stayed, the more I felt sorry for what he had to go through.

<I always keep my promises.> I told him just as I was about to leave, <So when I promise that I’ll come back, I will come back.>

I did come back, but not at the promised time I told him I would. Furthermore, with the added repairs on the stairs, I had been delayed. And though I asked the guards to relay my message to him, it seemed now that it never reached him.

So had he been waiting all this time for me? How long? All night, half a day?

How long have you been waiting in such a dark place?

It’s been a short while for me, but I’ve forgotten things momentarily. However to him, it seemed my promise was everything. I bit my lower lip in frustration and shame, trying to stop them from quivering for him.

It was at that moment, Ricdorian looked up, and locked eyes with me.

Then I saw it. That beautiful tear sliding down his cheeks and dropping to the floor…

Ttuk.

“Ricdorian?” I meekly called out…

“I…” he tried to say, but something else was threatening to spill from him aside from words…

“No, no, wait.” I tried to hush him, so I reached out my hand, but it’s already late.

Another tear fell down. He hurriedly raised his hand to wipe the growing water spills away. But that only seemed to prompt them more into spilling out of his eyes…

His body shook as he was racked with sobs, crying desperately to himself, heaving for a breath. I could do nothing else but watch him cry. It was mesmerizing, I didn’t know I’d find his tears so beautiful. He looked so beautiful when crying…

“Are you going to throw me away? Are you sick of me?” he sobbed, which brought me out of my trance.

“Huh?”

“Answer me, are you…?”

“Ahhh.”

I mumbled, finally realizing what he was asking of me.

“No.” I told him without an ounce of hesitation.

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