Chapter 19

These cold-blooded people.

As always, taking painkillers didn’t do much. I fell asleep for a bit with a groan. When I woke up, time had flown by. I knew the banquet started at 6 pm, but it was already past 5 pm. If someone had come to tell me to get ready for the banquet, I would have gotten up earlier.

If the maid had lied to me, she might have made an excuse to Ellenia that I was sick and was in no condition to attend the banquet.

It was true that I wasn’t feeling well, so she didn’t lie to her master. Or maybe she just told me the truth.

Either way, I couldn’t stay still. I had to check first. Fortunately, after a little sleep, the pain was more bearable than before.

“Did you call me, madam?”

I pulled the rope just in case, but for some reason, Lucille appeared immediately. She came so fast that I wondered if she had been watching me.

“Can you help me? It’s already late, and I have to change my clothes quickly.”

“But madam, I heard…” Lucille said trailing off, staring at me. Somehow, she looked troubled.

I didn’t know whether Izek really intended to keep me in the room, or whether that maid had told everyone under her, or if all the servants were working together. What was certain was that even if that maid lied, only a few people had been on my side in the first place. So I couldn’t stay still any longer.

I had to coax my husband somehow. Now that he’d shown me a bit of emotion, I had to grab this last straw.

I will just check first. Only check…

“I know. Just help me get dressed.”

“Madam, I’m…”

“I just want to feel better. I’ve been in the room for a couple of days already. I beg of you, please?”

Lucille looked grumpy, but as soon as I put out my diamond hairpin, she agreed to help me change into a new dress and sneak me to the garden.

The garden was like a misty forest with dozens of plants lined up. Warm green-colored sacred fires were lighting up the dark sky. The place where the banquet was held was hidden among the lilac bushes, with no one wandering around since everyone in the western side was focusing on security. I tucked the embroidery and letter in my sleeves.

Haa, what the hell am I doing?

Acting like a fan really wasn’t something anyone could do. My lower abdomen and waist throbbed relentlessly, but it was tolerable.

I’ll take a peek, check on him and… I’ll just deliver the gift and return.

It was his birthday, but as a big fan, I had to give a gift to make it seem realistic. I had to see him no matter what the circumstances were. With this situation, it was too much to wait in nervousness. The cold and silence were killing me.

I didn’t eat much the past few days, but I felt like throwing up. It would be much better to be beaten up. This was simply unbearable.

Boom, rumble!

God, you really hate me, don’t you?

Why was there a sudden shower at a time like this? In an instant, the sky turned black and rain poured down. I paused and wrapped my sleeves around my hand tightly. To avoid the rain as much as possible, I walked on the side with thick trees, but I couldn’t help getting wet. It was fortunate that my dress was made of stiff lace.

As I approached the venue, I could hear some noise.

The sound of guests bursting into laughter, saying things like heaven was angry because it was his birthday.

Someone cheerfully replied that it was a good joke.

I hid behind a nearby juniper tree and peeked at the entrance to the banquet hall.

Glamorously dressed people were walking, laughing, talking and greeting. What made them so happy?

Everyone went inside and the stairs became empty for a moment. I hid myself behind a pillar again, and snuck a look. It was lively and luxurious.

I could see the noisy crowd moving about.

“…I’ve been through a lot preparing this gift.”

“It’s true that you’ve been through a lot.”

“I don’t like him anyway.”

“I told you, my lady, you don’t need to be nice.”

“Why are you here?”

“He’s the one who came to invite me.”

A group of men and women happily chatted at the centre of the banquet hall. Several Paladins in black armour, along with a silver-armour one, were walking down the stairs, escorting two women. Their faces had a similar proud look. I felt this every time I looked at them, but the Paladins had a huge sense of pride.

Ellenia, escorted by Paladins, was dressed in an elegant blue dress, looking like a goddess, and so did Freya with her pale blonde hair, prettily dressed in a pink dress with a matching design.

She laughed and smacked the silver Paladin on the shoulder.

As Izek turned his head, I couldn’t see his face, but he seemed very happy.

I felt weird. Similar to how I felt on the last day of high school in my previous life.

On the night of the dance party, I hid in the garden, abandoned by my partner, and watched all the students pass by…

The door of the banquet hall slowly closed. I snapped out of it on hearing the thud.

I should go back. It would only be a disgrace to show up like this. In addition, what that maid had said, didn’t seem to be a lie.

In no time, the rain came to a stop.

I squatted down behind the pillar for a moment and soothed my sore back. Even the gift probably got wet and ruined, so I couldn’t give it to him. I’d think of something else later.

Haaaa, I shouldn’t have gone through this. It was my fault for forgetting for a moment how cold he is.

Yes, even if she was a mean maid, it was too much to tell a lie like that. I should go and make a new plan for what to do in the future. While he’s asleep at home, I’ll sneak– Did I walk too far?

“Achoo!”

I sneezed as I went back to the thick bushes. Sniffle, suddenly the rain got worse.

I unintentionally became a fool, just to know what he was up to.

Wait, was this the way I came before? Wake up, you idiot.

I hit my forehead with my fist up. But tears crept out because I hit it too hard.

When I looked around while rubbing my forehead, it was as if I was walking aimlessly at the back of the venue. What was I doing going in circles? In the meantime, I strode ahead, hoping that someone hadn’t looked out the window.

I hit my shoulder hard on something as I turned the corner.

It hurts.

What was wrong with me today?

The pungent smell of smoke filled my nose. Was it the smell of a torch? As far as I keow, it didn’t extinguish even if it rained.

I suddenly wanted to see Popo. Though it was a monster that carried corpses in its mouth, no one was as kind to me as it. Hah, he even put a leaf on my head so I wouldn’t bleed.

(T/N: STAHP– I swear, I feel her loneliness too much ;-; )

“My lady?”

I kept walking without stopping. I didn’t know who this was, but please, I just hoped they’d forget the stupidity they saw today. Aiii, my back was about to break.

“Lady, Lady Rudbeckia.”

So persistent. Why couldn’t he just let me go?

As I turned my head while enduring my irritation, I saw a familiar face. Pale blonde covering the back of his neck, round dark purple eyes. Oh, it was him. I was really out of luck today to be caught by him.

“Are you sick?”

I stared at Lorenzo’s face for a moment. He seemed to be laughing. What was so funny? This brother and sister were out to make my life miserable. Why were they everywhere?

“You can just swear.”

“What?”

“You can just swear at me comfortably. You can tell from my appearance. You don’t have to work hard to sneakily sing songs like that.”

“What the….”

The corners of his mouth pulled up, as if he was speechless.

It looked hilarious. He was somewhat embarrassed. What was wrong with singing such a disgusting song and showing that he didn’t like me?

I rolled my eyes and grinned.

“What kind of misunderstanding do you have? When the hell did I…”

“It’s okay. I know everyone hates me. I’m good at knowing things like that. Don’t worry, I’ll pretend to be a dead rat without being greedy.”

My vision blurred as my voice faded.

What was I saying to this kid? Perhaps due to Mother Nature’s attack, my judgment level seemed to have fallen.

It was useless to say anything, but I had already commanded my method of acting harmless.

Yes, look at me like a fool. Can you go tell your sister how insignificant I am?

I don’t want to die.

I don’t want to die. I want to live. I can do anything for that.

I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and turned away from Lorenzo. The scene right in front of me took me aback. For a moment, I thought I was hallucinating. Why were these guys out here? I was sure they were in the banquet hall a while ago…

The proud Paladins seemed more surprised than I was by this unexpected scene.

It was a bit funny to see each of them staring away with a frozen expression with a leaf cigarette in their hands.

Was that the source of all the smoke?

In particular, Sir Ivan seemed to have no idea how frozen he was, the cigarette supported by his fingers had already burnt out.

Andymion was even worse — he continued to light matchsticks that were already charred.

I knew as well, I didn’t look good. I was already embarrassed to death, but they had probably heard everything I said.

Ah, someone please find a mousehole for me! My laughter isn’t genuine.

(T/N: the word used here is 쥐구멍, cos she was embarrassed enough to want to find a mousehole to hide in.)

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