Chapter 155 - No Longer Human

"So, you admit your bad, huh?" Yuhi said, amused.

The girl sighed deeply. "Well, I know I am hopeless at times. Whenever I end up working seriously on something, I end up neglecting my health a lot. I know it is stupid since, without good health, I won't be able to do anything anyway. But whenever I concentrate, it is so easy to forget everything else."

That does not make her stupid, though. Yuhi noticed this a long time ago, but Sumire is very negative toward herself. Why does she use such words like stupid and idiot so easily? It upset me whenever he heard it. She has so much potential but has such little confidence.

"I met with Shin earlier, and he told me everything." Yuhi decided to say it instead of beating around the bush.

The innocent expression on the girl's face vanished, and she sighed. "Yuhi-san, do you genuinely want to involve yourself in this?"

"Huh?"

She looked at him with a serious gaze. "You could die."

"Sumire...thats--"

"You should understand it better than anybody. These people are chasing after individuals with unusual abilities, such as somebody with unusual strength."

Yuhi blinked when he heard those words. Huh? So it seems like she knows that much? Then again, that information was in the documents Shin gave him. "What do you think about the red queen theory?"

At that comment, Sumire left his arms and stood up. She walked towards the bookshelves and picked up a book from the shelf. "I think it's true. I am no scientist, and I will not pretend to be one. But if the world is the only thing that evolves, then won't humanity become stale?"

"In the first place, I am surprised...I thought you..." He trailed off when he saw the book she picked up.

Osamu Dazais no longer human. The protagonist Oba Yozo leaves behind a set of notebooks regarding his true self and explaining how he lived a life of lies. A troubled man who could not reveal his true self to others and maintaining a facade. He pretended to be the fool hoping that he would learn about humanity this way. Not only could he not explain to others his true nature. But he could not understand humans; he did not know how to feel anger, happiness, or sadness.

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't understand it. Why are those people so happy all the time? Even though people surrounded him, he felt alienated and isolated from the rest of the world.

One of his classmates Takeichi, saw through this facade and so Oba decided to befriend him to keep the secret safe.

"The protagonist Oba concluded that art is a form of human cruelty. Humans can express such cruelness due to their own trauma." Sumire spoke up like she read his thoughts. "Do you think a person like this will understand that humans can evolve and change? There is no person out there who is completely hopeless?"

Yuhi shook his head. "He won't understand because no matter what he tried, he still couldn't relate to humans."

"Correct. After meeting a fellow artist Horiki, who influenced his life badly. He ended up resorting to drinking and smoking heavily. A one night stand with a married woman that ended up with a double suicide via drowning. The woman survives, but he doesn't. At this point in the story, one can see that Yozo is slowly surrendering. He slowly realizes that no matter how much he struggled, he will never be human."

"The end of the story is tragic. Even though it looked like his life would turn around after meeting his wife."

"Confined in the walls of a mental institution, far from humans. Ah, it was a tragedy. He who tried to understand humans better than anyone ended up separated from them." Sumire trailed off. "It was a tragedy, even after he left the institution, he isolated himself from the world. He gave up. Despite this, I like this book a lot. I find it beautiful how he struggled to be human right to the very end."

Yuhi clenched his fist when he heard those words. He understood the meaning of her words.

She likes this book because she can relate to the protagonist. When he met her during that snowy concert several years ago and stayed at his place, he noticed it.

He noticed that there was something wrong with her emotions. Whenever she smiled, it felt hollow, and the look in her eyes seemed the same. Whenever she got angry or sad, it was the same too.

His thoughts broke off when Sumire put the book down on the table. She walked over to him and brushed her hands on his cheeks. "I told you before that everything happens for a reason, correct?"

"Yes."

"In this story, the protagonist gave up, despite all the pain he went through. He most likely did not realize how much he was suffering; he did not realize that he was in pain. When that incident happened with his wife, he didn't realize he was angry. He simply despaired without giving it much thought." Sumire leaned forward and lightly kissed him. "Tell me something, Yuhi-san. If I were to give up on everything like that, would you finally leave me?"

His eyes widened when he heard her words. What is she trying to do?

"I want to be honest with you. I am afraid." Sumire mumbled. "I thought I understood what I was getting involved in. But after I saw that sight with Shin the other day, I realized that this would be dangerous."

"But?"

"But I can't let this go. I want to find out the truth. Ru did not deserve to die like that. He was already battling with his life. He only had a short amount of time, but they even took that from him."

Yuhi sensed the anger behind her words and pulled her into his arms. He wanted to tell her that it was all going to be okay. He wanted to tell her that she did not have to do this alone. But Yuhi understood that words would be futile now.

Osamu Dazai, no longer human, is his most famous work and also his last book. People saw it as his will since he shortly took his own life after this. A book that the author has put so much thought and emotion into. For a person who could not understand humans, his last book deciphered so many emotions.

For Ibuki Sumire, this book is her savior. There was somebody out there who had similar feelings as her; she is not unusual.

Yuhi understood that the girl most-likely had such thoughts in her head right now.